“No matter how dark it gets, we all have to be the light for each other. You turn on your phones, you turn on your televisions, you’re met with darkness— you don’t need to search for it, it searches for you,” said Perry. “You have to be careful not to let it into your heart…if you let it in, you can become cynical…what is so important is that we all understand that no matter what we’re going through, we’re going through it together.” – Tyler Perry (2017) at the People’s Choice Awards
It’s funny how last night I wrote about the black spot on the white paper and tonight while listening to the awards show while working on my computer, I heard in the background a voice talking about the dark and the light. And it made so much sense. I turned and watched Tyler Perry give his acceptance speech and then searched it out to listen to his words again.
What he said was so utterly true and honest as there is always light and dark. And there will always be good and the bad. And as I read a comment to the blog I posted last night -“Carol, you appear like a heavily waxed automobile where the ‘water’ just beads up and rolls right off while you stay well-polished and protected. This did not come from one ‘waxing,’ but numerous ones over time, and the end result is a glorious shine and luster to your character”- the words resonated. Everyone can be the ‘waxed automobile’.
So often I hear these words – “I keep making mistakes. I’m hopeless and will never learn”. Learning is lifelong and making mistakes is a normal part of that process. We didn’t learn to ride a bike without falling a scraping a knee or an elbow. Most of us have learned by taking those mistakes and working on bettering them. As an educator of many years, this is a mantra that I tell both students and their teachers. It’s okay to make those mistakes. We all forgive and forget and we will learn from them. Unfortunately for Amanda, many of her peers didn’t take this into consideration.
There are many ways we can live our lives. Being patient and considerate are two of the virtues. Being mean and inconsiderate are behaviours that need rethinking. Inflicting hurt and harm with actions or words need immediate rethinking.
To all those that are in need of some positivity, think about the colours of the rainbow. You are those colours that shine brightly. Always believe in yourself and what you can do as a person for yourself and for others. #ShineBright and #MakeTodayPositive for yourself and for others. xoxo
As I have said before, everyone has a story. It might be a good one or it might be a tragically sad one. But it is still a story. Also, all stories have emotions connected to them but we may never know what the people behind the stories feel or think or want.
In the past few days, I have been contacted by media because of my recent decision to attend the trial in the Netherlands. I have been judged by comments on posted articles with both positives and negatives. The bravery of the keyboard brings out comments that would never be said face to face to a person. The question we always face includes ‘Is this something to ignore?’or ‘Does one just walk away and say nothing?’ Sometimes the negatives absorb more than the postives.
Many often question what the real ‘mission’ is and just a few minutes ago, someone on one of my social media wall said this …”These sad comments are just validating the need for the work that you are doing.”
I know that am not out for revenge or for hate. What I do feel is sadness for those that thrive out of making others feel scared, miserable and less worthy of the person that they deserve to be.
Here is a story that was shared on my Facebook tonight: “I have to share a story I read. There was a creative writing professor at a collage in Texas that gave his students an assignment he told them to write a page about the picture on the page that he was about to hand out but when he handed out the pages all that was on the page was a little black dot in the middle of the page the students were confused but they went home and came back the next day and handed in they’re assignment and when the professor read them they were all about the where the dot was aligned on the page and how small the dot was. Then he told them the assignment was to help me give you a life lesson you all only focused on the dark spot on the paper you paid no attention to the white all around the dark spot. In life to many people pay attention to the dark spots in there life and very little attention to the good things. We are so focused on the bad things and the bad people in our lives when the good things happen to us we enjoy them for a moment and then refocus on the bad things. When we meet a bad person that says and does bad things to us we focus on them and the hundreds of good people we have met we can’t enjoy because we’re focused on the bad. I say forget the bad things and forget the bad people live your life for the good things and surround yourself with good people and it will make you a better person.”
My thoughts after I read this was that yes, I see the black dot or the dark spot. But I also see lots of white and colour on the page. I see colourful dots that move around the black dot in hopes of making change, bring on a movement and just swirling around freely with no barriers. The black dot (which may be the negative comment(s) which abound, but it doesn’t get me down because the colourful spots lift me up (which is the positivity of life). This is how we can learn resilience and overcoming those dark moments.
We know that it takes more brain power to create positive thoughts and comments. Humans are using parts of their brain which facilitate the strengthening of logical reasoning and social emotions. This hopefully equates to more positivity and a transference to being kinder to others and being someone who stands up for others.
And that is my mission for others.
I have thoughts to share. There are many reasons for going to the Netherlands. Some that I can share and others that I cannot. For me, closure is not in my vocabulary, but the path to healing over grief certainly is. Seeing this person will be difficult. However, there are many out there who need to do things because they know in their hearts (and their brains) that they need to.
This journey is the start of what might end up to be the most challenging year since Amanda’s death in October 2012. Hopefully seeing this person in the Netherlands will prepare me somewhat for when i see him again when his extradition to Canada will occur for the trial of Mr Coban vs Amanda Todd. Also, everyone in this world is subject to their opinions.
My daughter passed away (dead can often be such a harsh word to someone who has lost a loved one) 4 years and 3 months ago. She will not come back ever. But whatever happened to her and others need be talked about so that we can all have those difficult discussions with our loved ones, our students, our communities and hope that one day, behaviours will be altered. No one really knows me as a person, but just what is seen in a 4 minute video clip. Sit down and have coffee with me and we can all have the talk about what we need to do to make a difference in our world. Thank you to all those who have supported with words and/or donations. All monies will be spent in a way that we can keep the world a safer place. xoxo