Lots of thoughts and words (December 23, 2012) – 10 weeks + 4 days

4:00 pm – Before I start to write, I just want to tell everyone that tonight is the 2 year anniversary date of the night that the RCMP arrived at my door to tell me that pictures had been posted on the internet by the online predator.  It makes me so angry that there are sad and sick people out there like that!!  Is there anything we can do as a society???

Yes, I have had lots of words and thoughts in the past few days.  Too many actually.  Things just set me off right now and it might be because of the season, or it might be because it’s happening to me.  I am feeling that she is not here. I have so much to say to everyone.  My heart is so warm from everyone who continues to write, message and visit me.  For the past week, whenever I come home, there seems to be gifts at my front door or gifts and cards in my mailbox.  People told me that it was going to end and I would feel alone and sad.  I have not felt that way at all.  To tell you the truth (and to my BBB and my son and Amanda – don’t take this the wrong way), I feel more alone prior to October 10.

I just got a message from a friend of mine and she was saying Amanda was the 2nd Newsmaker of 2012.  I  am not sure what that is about yet.  If anyone knows, please message me.

Here is a brief note to Amanda that I posted today:

Dear Amanda – I am so amazed at the friends you chose to reconnect with in the past year. They are so wonderful. It would make you so proud of them to know that they continue to text message me and come to visit. I won’t mention their names right here (they know who they are). I got some wonderful presents from them which I will share with the world. Love Mom xoxo

I have to go out but I will keep posting more on todays blog.  My week has been emotionally challenged.  Subsequently, there have been alot of quiet tears which makes me so tired by 1 a.m. and we all know that I usually start writing at 2 a.m.  So … that’s why it has been so quiet.

5:10 pm  – I was so surprised to read that Amanda made it as the 2nd Top Newsmakers of 2012.  I think it was in Canada by just reading the content.  She beat out the NHL hockey strike as a news item and that was going on way before 10/10/12.  That’s my Princess Snowflake!!

It is always interesting to go out and be recognized in your community and beyond. When I was at Save On Foods in Port Coquitlam this morning, there were 3 people that recognized me.  Two I remembered and one who was a stranger until today.  The stranger was a wonderful woman (with a purple bike) that lived in Port Coquitlam.  She recognized me (I guess from media) and wanted to give me a hug. I gave her some Amanda Todd/Stay Strong bracelets to give to her relatives and a BE SOMEONE t-shirt.  She loved them and I hope we stay in touch somehow.  In my philosophy, kindness counts so much in this world.  If I can make it a brighter place (one person at a time), I will.  My 3000 bracelets have whittled down to about 200 left.  I have to order more as it is how I am smothering and extending to others right now.

There is a French documentary that aired this weekend in France.  Yes, they were at my house.  It was on a show that is called 66 Minutes.  I can’t understand what they say but I have friends who are letting me know if it is okay.  They came to my house and other houses (including Nova Scotia)!!  They interviewed a boy that Amanda knew from Maple Ridge but I didn’t.  I sure hope that it turned out well.

About Carol Todd

Being the mother of Amanda Todd has lead me on this journey shortly after Amanda's death on October 10, 2012. Amanda's prolific You Tube video has been viewed over 33 million times. Through this video, there has been an increased awareness about cyberbullying, social media safety and mental health. www.amandatoddlegacy.org
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2 Responses to Lots of thoughts and words (December 23, 2012) – 10 weeks + 4 days

  1. merle says:

    Amanda’s beautiful soul shines through you, Carol. I’ve been so busy as others have, and when I took time to check your page, I cried with you. I wish so much that you’ll find peace. I really sense Amanda’s spirit surrounding all that loved her, and some who didn’t even know her personally such as I. The beautiful mystery is why…yet no answer is needed, I just know I have become a better and more enlightened person because of her. May everyone’s blessings surround you always.


  2. Paul Klarich says:

    Hi Carol-That brief to Amanda was tender.These young people,Amanda’s and your families TRUE friends,have shown what the words integrity,honor, respect, and FRIENDSHIP mean.When the chips are down,they stand by their friend.They did not abandon when called upon.I say to the people,the haters that used words to hurt my new friend:you have brought this upon yourselves.Even when suffering under personal attack,Amanda selflessly offered sage advice to you.Your response was to mock her further.Well,I have a question:In what position do you find yourselves in now?.As you are surely aware,more than just a community has awoken to combat your handiwork.You can see,from your dark sidelines,what it means when good people stand up and shine.A New Year approaches.This is the perfect time for you to cleanse yourselves of your negativities.I urge you to step out of these sidelines,this mindset,that limits you so.I am really interested to get the chance to analyze that French documentary.A different perspective would be helpful.I wish a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to all….”Paul from the Pier”.


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