Over the past few days, I have gotten many well wishes and Merry HoHo’s related to the holiday season. I have also received so many comments about how strong I am and thanking me for being able to articulate my thoughts to help spread the words of Amanda Todd. It absolutely floors me that people think that way. I only think of myself as a mom and a teacher (which my kids always hated because anywhere we would go, I would see present or former students). I did listen to myself on the radio today on CBC – On the Coast. The discussion for the first 30 minutes was focussed on Amanda and the things I said and did that helped her cope with the world and also ways that I got her to share her information with me. This led on to talking about general parenting styles to elicit conversation with your children. I can’t say I was a master of it. But at the end of Amanda’s life, our discussions were free of any barriers. She talked, I listened (usually without judgement). It was the same way with Amanda’s brother who knew he could/can come to me at anytime to just talk unconditionally. Now typically, boys don’t talk a whole lot. But the opportunity is always there, day or night. As a parent, I am usually on call to my kids 24/7. It’s that same story whereby if …. your kid goes out and drinks and gets absolutely drunk. What do we say to them … ‘If you ever have a problem. call and we will pick you up no matter what time’. I can honestly say that Amanda did call in her tickets. And when I groaned in my sleep, I always heard ‘But mom, you said that we could always call no matter what’. Well, I guess those were the magic words that make you crawl out of bed in your pj’s, grab a coat and get into your car to wherever you should end up. Yes, one night I ended up in the catacombs on Surrey to pick up Amanda and a friend. The story that night was ‘We met some boys at the mall and then ended up in Surrey and now there are no buses’. Never mind that 152nd and 78th is a long way from Port Coquitlam or Maple Ridge. That was definitely an OMG and a 4 letter night. Hmmm…
So back to my original topic … I say what I say. It is not scripted. I just speak from my heart and my brain. Sometimes it comes out right. Other times it doesn’t. Oh well.. that’s just me!! And as I have grown to learn these words —- Take it or leave it!! Or really … Take me or leave it!! Which is better???
I do take comfort and peace in my words. If others can take and use the words that I say and write so randomly and use them well, then I have done a great job in putting forward the messages that Amanda and I want to share. Never in a million years would I have thought I would be sitting here blogging and living through what I am living.
May all your hearts be blessed with love, kindness and caring,