Is there such a thing as a ‘snowflake elf’? Will they exist after the Christmas decorations have been taken down? I sure hope so as Amanda was my Princess Snowflake. The elves started helping on October 10th and they haven’t stopped since. It started with a few elves and then more joined the elf force. I love it!!! No one complains. Everyone wants to do something. To put it in real life terms … there are the local elves, the community elves, the ‘I work with Carol’ elves, the ‘I really like Carol’ elves, the national elves, and now we seem to be moving onwards to the international elves. I absolutely love it and it I could give every one of them a huge hug, I would. Tonight I watched and listened to the Wonder Woman song (first one with the signs) again and watched the video. Here is a link to the second Wonder Woman song. For the first time, I didn’t cry my eyes out. Is that because the tears are dried up. I certainly hope now. I believe that right now, I am at peace with my thoughts and feelings. Christmas Day and beyond have been good for me. Maybe there is a part of Amanda that is making me calm. I do feel her presence sometimes and her matter of factness drives me forward. I had a good conversation with a reporter this morning. She asked me how I was able to continue to ‘push forward’ Amanda’s legacy through all this tragedy and sadness. I have been asked this lots of times and I always answer ‘I am her mom. This is my job as her parent.’ Don’t we as parents continue to parent no matter what happens in life.
Once again today, I have met new people. Amazing and inspirational ones. They have stumbled across my path with no warning. They say to me ‘I am so happy to have met you’. I say back ‘It is my honour to be able to meet them as they continue to support and help me in keeping Amanda’s legacy alive’. They, in essence, unknowingly, have just joined the Snowflake Elf brigade.
With that, I am saying ‘good night’. Will I sleep, not sure yet. It still doesn’t come easy. However, last night, for the first time since before October 10th, I did dream. I don’t know what the dream was about but I know I had one. That is a good sign ….
Love to my SE’s!! xoxo