Love my Snowflake Elves …. December 29 @ 1:10 a.m.

Is there such a thing as a ‘snowflake elf’?  Will they exist after the Christmas decorations have been taken down? I sure hope so as Amanda was my Princess Snowflake.  The elves started helping on October 10th and they haven’t stopped since.  It started with a few elves and then more joined the elf force.  I love it!!!  No one complains.  Everyone wants to do something.  To put it in real life terms … there are the local elves, the community elves, the ‘I work with Carol’ elves, the ‘I really like Carol’ elves, the national elves, and now we seem to be moving onwards to the international elves.  I absolutely love it and it I could give every one of them a huge hug, I would.  Tonight I watched and listened to the Wonder Woman song (first one with the signs) again and watched the video.  Here is a link to the second Wonder Woman song.  For the first time, I didn’t cry my eyes out. Is that because the tears are dried up.  I certainly hope now.  I believe that right now, I am at peace with my thoughts and feelings.  Christmas Day and beyond have been good for me.  Maybe there is a part of Amanda that is making me calm.  I do feel her presence sometimes and her matter of factness drives me forward.  I had a good conversation with a reporter this morning.  She asked me how I was able to continue to ‘push forward’ Amanda’s legacy through all this tragedy and sadness.  I have been asked this lots of times and I always answer ‘I am her mom.  This is my job as her parent.’  Don’t we as parents continue to parent no matter what happens in life.  

Once again today, I have met new people. Amazing and inspirational ones.  They have stumbled across my path with no warning.  They say to me ‘I am so happy to have met you’.  I say back ‘It is my honour to be able to meet them as they continue to support and help me in keeping Amanda’s legacy alive’. They, in essence, unknowingly, have just joined the Snowflake Elf brigade.

With that, I am saying ‘good night’.  Will I sleep, not sure yet.  It still doesn’t come easy.  However, last night, for the first time since before October 10th, I did dream.  I don’t know what the dream was about but I know I had one.  That is a good sign ….

Love to my SE’s!!  xoxo

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About Carol Todd

Being the mother of Amanda Todd has lead me on this journey shortly after Amanda's death on October 10, 2012. Amanda's prolific You Tube video has been viewed over 33 million times. Through this video, there has been an increased awareness about cyberbullying, social media safety and mental health. www.amandatoddlegacy.org
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6 Responses to Love my Snowflake Elves …. December 29 @ 1:10 a.m.

  1. Paul Klarich says:

    To Merle-I was going say something,but you stated it better,in part,today.To Dennis Vu-It started for me the same way.All I can tell you is stay with this,and you might just find that something might unfold for you that you never would of expected…..To Carol-Us Elves can disappear from time to time,but we do have that cheery habit of turning up when least expected……

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  2. Dennis Vu says:

    http://t.co/9I7C6ofg well after reading this article Carol tweeted about, I’m a little more at peace with the situation, I’m glad to read that Carol was awair of the “cappers” back in 2010 and warned Amanda about these online predators. I’m only 19 so I don’t know what its like to have kids, and I was her age once so I understand her actions. I still feel “sad” maybe just grief because she was someone I could relate to but was powerless to help or prevent the tragedy. I’m also still slightly upset with the Canadian police for not doing anything despite knowing since 2010 and still to this day have yet to find the one responsible. But if they do, I hope Carol forgives them because after reading that article, its true they are people with a condition and they need help, I’m sure that’s what Amanda would’ve wanted, because holding a grudge just leads to more suffering and forgiveness heals. Carol I’m sorry for commenting so much, but you have my support and I will do anything to help Amanda’s Legacy

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  3. merle says:

    I hope you have someone to talk to, Dennis. Just one person or many. Sharing your thoughts verbally, or in writing can help. I do not forget that there is much to be done to change the way predators are allowed to exist. We must support all efforts to identify and expose these “so-called” people. All the “could’ves must be changed into I WILL NEXT TIME. I’m glad for people such as yourself who care so much.

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  4. merle says:

    To Dennis, I felt the same as you a few months ago when I found out about Amanda, it is devastating to learn of such human cruelty, however, by reading Carol’s page and all the POSITIVE people who care so much for Amanda and her family, I have been able to accept what cannot be changed and try to do more positive things for others…isn’t that what we’re meant to do? This woman Carol is amazing to me, it cannot be an easy task, but Amanda’s spirit lives in her and enables her to accomplish and understand the enourmous challenges in her life. I didn’t know Amanda, but somehow she is a catalyst now in all I do and how I try to treat others, and that is a comfort to me. It’s bittersweet to be thankful for learning about this beautiful child.

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    • Dennis Vu says:

      I know that I can’t changed what happend but know that someone could’ve is what has me so upset, I’m glad Carol can finally get some sleep and have dreams, something I since I heard about this haven’t had. I’m also upset that they have yet to find the person. Responsible, while cyber bullying was part of the cause, what started it all are those child predators online, and while they get to hide behind a computer and impose their twisted will, they don’t feel the consequences, and sadly that’s the human race, we learn through suffering for our mistakes. I’m just deeply saddened becuase no one deserves this, but its still happening to other children as we speak and amandas predator is still out there.

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  5. Dennis Vu says:

    Carol is there any way I can email you? I didn’t find out about Amanda until these last few weeks. The last few months before December I was lonely heading towards depressed I took it on myself to remove myself from these bad influences, I disabled my facebook account and only talked and hanged out with friends that took the time to approach me and listen. This is why I was so devastated when I watched her story. These past 2 week I haven’t been sleep much or talking much with friends because I feel so much sorrow that other humans could do such a thing to her. These last few days. I’ve been staying up late reading all the articles and news I could find on her, and I feel that by sharing it with you it will take a large load off of my shoulders, because even though I wasn’t able to help her then, maybe I can help her now to find her tormentor.

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