January 2 – Sad heart!!!

Yes, I have a sad heart.  It happened last night at the stroke of midnight.  I realized that we had entered 2013 and that Amanda wasn’t there to enjoy it or the future that she most certainly would have enjoyed.  I am sure that this New Years would have been a good one for her as she had friends to hang out with. If she had only known in her life what we now know in her death.

Being up at Whistler, I thought about and saw things of so much beauty that I want/wanted to share with both my kids.   Now only 1 will enjoy. We can document and hope that somewhere, Amanda will see the pleasures.  She always wanted to go back to Whistler.  If Amanda had overcome her sadness, this would have been the first Christmas in 3 years that she would have spent with me.  I know she was here in spirit as I didn’t cry at all or much during Christmas or Boxing Day or a few days past that.

@5:00 pm

It’s been a busy kind of day.  The life of social media.  I woke up to my phone ringing and it was the a talk show with CFAX 1070 on the island that wanted me to come on air to ‘talk’ at 2 pm.  They called.  I talked.  I think that lots was covered in the sort time I spoke.  It’s too bad that it wasn’t recorded so that people who work could hear it later.  But then again, maybe there is.

Screen Shot 2013-01-02 at 3.05.56 PM


I also talked with a reporter from the Tri-City News and I heard that there a mention also on Global TV News early this morning.  At least maybe the message will continue to spread about social media and the perils of it.

My Christmas tree is still up.  I haven’t the motivation to take it down yet.  It means putting away pieces of Amanda as the tree this year was decorated in memory of her. I will keep some of my favourite  snowflake decorations out.  I posted on my FB for others to do the same.  It is a way to keep Amanda in all our hearts year round.

I am still connecting with adults and kids about bullying and mental health information.  I am so amazed at how many people have been and are affected.  Some are getting help, some are waiting for help.  I really feel sad for those that continue to wait for help. I feel really happy for those on the road to recovery.




About Carol Todd

Being the mother of Amanda Todd has lead me on this journey shortly after Amanda's death on October 10, 2012. Amanda's prolific You Tube video has been viewed over 33 million times. Through this video, there has been an increased awareness about cyberbullying, social media safety and mental health. www.amandatoddlegacy.org
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7 Responses to January 2 – Sad heart!!!

  1. la Punisher says:

    Keeping a snowflake decoration in the entertainment center, To help keep me remembering the precious child the world lost.


  2. Dennis Vu says:

    My heart goes out to you, putting away the tree means letting go, one of the hardest things a mother can do.


  3. Rob says:

    The meaning here is: “when it is summertime”, Amanda will Shine Bright,

    Like A Diamond In The Sky.

    As Fall turns into winter, that is when that bright diamond will

    turn into a Beautiful Princess Snowflake.


  4. Rob says:

    Shine Bright Amanda!!!

    Amanda knew of Sia, and liked her. Amanda played one of Sia’s songs
    in her video.
    On Nov 28, 2012, the recording was made with Sia singing the song that Sia
    wrote for Rihanna.
    Song is called Diamonds
    Shine Bright Like A Diamond Amanda!!!


  5. Sue Hindle says:

    Thinking of you and your family Carol… I have a snowflake decoration that I didn’t put away. I am going to keep it up in memory of Amanda.


  6. Rob says:

    In the last sentence, of the 1’st chapter you wrote, it reminded me of a song.
    Katy Perry, Wide Awake. ” I wish I knew then, What I know now”
    2013 Will Be A Big Year In Keeping Amandas Legacy Alive.

    Never To Be Forgotten,
    Forever Loved.


  7. Dennis Vu says:

    Its hard to loose a child, especially at such a young age and the way you lost her.She didn’t deserve this, but what’s done is done and its sad and hard to realize that she is gone from this physical world forever, but she will continue to live on in our hearts and minds, and its our job now to keep her memory alive in the hearts and minds of others by helping others. Stay strong Carol.


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