January 22, 2013 – Sad that Amanda isn’t here …

I have no words for tonight except that when I was downstairs in the crawl space re-arranging the boxes from the Christmas decorations, I saw a big bucket that had/have her stuffies in them.  I did give stuffies to some of her friends but if you knew Amanda, she was always collecting them.  My favs are her build a bears.  I have 3 sitting in front of her bedroom door.  Will take a pic when I get there.  It’s sad to see them without their owner.  It’s sad to not have Amanda with me in my house.  I guess this is one of my sad nights.  I miss her so much. I find that when I have a strong night (as I had a radio interview tonight talking about Amanda and her mental health concerns) I sometimes crash.  But I did hear that the interview sounded good.  I never really know because it feels to me that I am just babbling.  

Tonight I saw Evander Holyfield’s tweet about Amanda’s Legacy Foundation.  That gives me goosebumps.  How far we have gone Amanda in the past 3 1/2 months.  Holy sh*t (oops) .. Holy

poop!!  Image


There’s the tweet above.  Anyways, I am sad so I am going to cry a bit. Maybe eat some chocolate. 

Niters and hugz to both my children and my BBB xoxo

About Carol Todd

Being the mother of Amanda Todd has lead me on this journey shortly after Amanda's death on October 10, 2012. Amanda's prolific You Tube video has been viewed over 33 million times. Through this video, there has been an increased awareness about cyberbullying, social media safety and mental health. www.amandatoddlegacy.org
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8 Responses to January 22, 2013 – Sad that Amanda isn’t here …

  1. Rob says:

    To Paul Klarich,
    When watching video I sent, You can simply click on You Tube icon
    to watch origional video with all the comments.
    I have Loved music since when i was 15
    Albums were handed down to me by my older sisters.
    My family was in the Home Stereo business.
    That song is actually a Welsh Lullaby, if I remember correctly.
    He would play it to his daughter to help her go to sleep in the
    1970’s I think.
    Music Is Everything To Me.
    I hope all the info I typed is correct, as I have been up for 19 hours
    or so. Soo busy at work. lots of overtime.

    Thinking of You and Amanda Every Day Carol.
    Stay Strong.
    You are helping me to Stay Strong Carol.


  2. merle says:

    MsJoanSkw, That was sadly but beautifully said! Your last paragraph is ALL I want to say to Carol. Thank you for that.


  3. Paul Klarich says:

    To Rob-A well played acoustic,Rob.Calming tones.Vibrations from strings speak clearly to the heart and mind.Better than words,sometimes….Paul.


  4. Derek says:

    Carol you are the strongest person that I’ve ever met.Amanda will always be in our hearts her message will always be in our minds.Abd now you got the real deal in Evander Holyfield I see nothing but good thing happening for the legacy fund.Keep up the good work and these blogs your amazing.


  5. Lisa says:

    I hope when you wake today the weather has changed from rain to sunny for you.


  6. Rob says:

    Could not find exactly what I was looking for, but here is an acoustic
    version of the song.
    Gives me peace. Helps me sleep.
    All Through The Night. (4:31)
    Jane Siberry Hush Album.


  7. I look at my daughter’s stuffies thinking I have to box them up soon too. I know it’s not the same, but the grief comes in waves of memories knowing the day they first arrived in the home with the joy, smiles and laughter that no longer exist. It will be a job for me in the next few weeks to take a photo, box up and label for another time. I join you in your tears privately each night as I continue to support your battle late in the evenings when I can’t sleep, but look so forward to your positivity, cause and courage.


  8. Rob says:

    I think of You and Amanda Every Single day.
    It doesn’t break my heart, it slowly tears it apart.
    What a beautiful child this world lost.
    Amanda will Always Be Remembered And Loved.
    I also love the poems that someone wrote about Amanda.


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