February 13 – Worrying about kids ….

Back when, I thought that Amanda must be the only kid getting into sh*t like she was.  But I think I am wrong in that thinking.  When you sleuth around on the internet, you find so much ‘horrible’ stuff that you do wonder about the way young kids are thinking these days.  Yes certainly we worry both about the boys and girls but in different ways.  The boys ask girls for pictures.  The girls send the pictures.  Then it gets sent to one, then two, then four, then ….  (trust me, it multiplies fast).  And it leaves the digital footprint.  I often think sometimes kids learn the ‘effects’ too late after the fact.  Maybe the time to learn is fright before they get their devices.  It would be a good thing for parents to learn what the cyberworld is all about out there.  We focus on bullying.  That is the big umbrella.  We have to look at all the raindrops under that umbrella – cyberbullying, sexual exploitation, mental health, etc.  They are all important.  They all take time to learn and read about.  I know that as working parents, we are all busy.  I do truly know that, I am one of them. But it’s like when we were pregnant as a couple expecting our kids.  We took the time to read the ‘I am expecting books’.  And the ‘what to do if my baby …’ books.  We watched videos. We read up on the internet on websites on babies.  As our children grow older and more into the e-tech phase of life, we still have to read and learn.  Except the subject matter has changed.  The subject matter has even gotten scarier.  We so want to say to ourselves – it won’t happen at my house.  It isn’t going to happen here.  My kids are too smart for that.  They know better.  They talk to me.  Or they don’t talk.

As me and many other parents who have either lost their child or who have had to worry about their child for various reasons, we didn’t think it would happen to us either.  I have met and talked to so many moms/dads/kids who have gone through traumatizing and life changing events.

During the first month of blogging, I think I wrote about communication.  How parents and kids need to talk.  I also talked about that in a radio interview back in December.  The more  I have talked to other parents and kids out there in both my community and the virtual world, the more I feel that is important that kids find someone to talk to that they can trust. Parents need to learn to listen.  They also need to learn how to talk with their kids.  Many kids are saying that their parents always talk at them, not with them.  As parents, we easily fall into that trap.  It isn’t our fault.  It was probably modelled to us by our parents.

Use ice cream.  Use car rides.  Use a walk to the park.  Embrace the unconditional family time.  I didn’t realize how important it was until last spring when Amanda came back to live with me.  As I said before, I will value and treasure all the wonderful moments we had together from March 2012 onwards.  If she had survived her emotional distresses, we would have been mother/daughter BFF’s + all her friends.  🙂

I have to go.  I have to finish my words for the 1200 students I am speaking in front of on Thursday morning.  Valentine’s Day.  Pink Day.  Pre- pink shirt day.

Hugz … xoxo ….  Carol

P.S.  What a great response to Bell’s Let’s Talk Day.  So many text messages, tweets, etc. And all for mental health initiatives, programs and resources.  So wonderful!!!

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About Carol Todd

Being the mother of Amanda Todd has lead me on this journey shortly after Amanda's death on October 10, 2012. Amanda's prolific You Tube video has been viewed over 33 million times. Through this video, there has been an increased awareness about cyberbullying, social media safety and mental health. www.amandatoddlegacy.org
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6 Responses to February 13 – Worrying about kids ….

  1. namedallas says:

    Thanks Carol for bringing to light so many things that have been kept in the dark for way to long .And thanks to Amanda for puting your life out there for the world to see. That had to be hard .Kids need to have other kids to conect with that have been through the same things .When I was younger we never heard about kids suiside or kids mental health concerns ,it just wasn’t talked about then .I even remember my councler telling me not to talk to other kids about it becuase he said the other kids wouldn’t understand .I never knew there was other kids, going threw the same things as me .I am realy glad that things are finly starting to chage for the better .Thanks again . HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY

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    • Thanks for coming to this blog and reading the posts. As we get more messages sent out to the world, there will hopefully be one more young person that understands and gets it. Hope you come back and read more. 🙂 Hope your V Day was a good one too.

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  2. merle48 says:

    Remember that everyone you meet is afraid of something, loves something and has lost something. ~H. Jackson Brown, Jr. Hope you see these small (but great) words of wisdom before you speak. I wish you the best in your speaking endeavor….straight from the heart…..that is all you need.

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  3. Sue Hindle says:

    Will be thinking bout you tomorrow as you speak to the 1200 kids… I hope they appreciate your wisdom and experience.. hugs..

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  4. GregSticker says:

    Ms. Carol, as usual your blog has touched me. I have come in here to say that I just made a contribution to the Amanda Todd Legacy Fund. I wish not to say here publicly how much I gave. You will see. But i wish to for the amount I donated have 2 of the Stay Strong Snowflake bracelets and One of the cookbooks. I want to attach my name to Amanda Michelle’s memory. I know she is truly my guardian angel. Memory Eternal! God Bless you Carol and Norm!

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  5. Michael S says:

    Yes, Carol, communicating with each other is very important. Talking at them or with them doesn’t matter as much as talking with the right words, the right language. Saying the right words that get the message across in the way you mean it the most, the way it will be understood. Then it would always be talking “with them”. >:D< Michael

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