Feb 14 – Read and comment on this blog post ….

i won’t teach my daughter it’s wrong to flash her boobs

Truthfully – February 12, 2013

(I had a few thoughts …. plz share yours)

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About Carol Todd

Being the mother of Amanda Todd has lead me on this journey shortly after Amanda's death on October 10, 2012. Amanda's prolific You Tube video has been viewed over 33 million times. Through this video, there has been an increased awareness about cyberbullying, social media safety and mental health. www.amandatoddlegacy.org
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22 Responses to Feb 14 – Read and comment on this blog post ….

  1. Savetheworld says:

    It’s all great and wonderful but truth be told its the Internet and the government that has failed us. Parenting has very little to do with it! Amanda had an incredible wonderful caring loving mother!!! Period!!!! This could have happened to anyone’s child! It’s the predators and trolls that we should blame and the govt for allowing them to troll around unsuspectingly! It’s the disgusting sites that should be banned and all the media exploiting women. It’s the lack of protection .. Images should have a footprint and should not be allowed to be shared there are so many things wrong with the Internet these days it’s a breaking ground for corruption and expoitation! It’s no wonder kids even adults are depressed and anxious. Something needs to be dxone to remedy this!

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  2. merle48 says:

    To Shannon, You are definitely your own person, and it’s commendable to back up your views, and to also explain what you really meant. I put myself in your shoes and I understand what you meant, I think. This is the risk and the beauty of writing raw feelings…or any writing for that matter. We put ourselves “out there” hoping that other readers identify somehow, sometimes it backfires, however, it opens more doors than it ever closes…I love that!

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    • Tristan says:

      Thank you merle48 again, saying pretty well what i was thinking. Shannon only means well, she’s a good person and i knew what she had meant in her blog right from the start. It’s interesting to see the comments coming in from both sides of the fence and how they could be interpreted or misinterpreted differently. I love how Shannon took on the challenge to come back to clarify and explain a more in depth explanation of what she was trying to say and what she truly meant. Its not always a bad thing to have people point out the grey area’s or the possibility’s of confusion in a line. As it does give you the opportunity to thoroughly go over it and explain it in more detail. I get this kind of thing a lot over at the Safe Haven site and welcome it at times as i get to bring up other points and things that i may have originally missed.It sure raises questions, good topics and good discussions, and how could that be a bad thing! Shannon had also written a follow up blog to this one and i hope and believe that it is suitable to be posted here, Everyone who has commented, please take a look at this blog by Shannon.http://www.truthfully.ca/2013/02/15/an-open-letter-to-allies-of-carol-todd/

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  3. merle48 says:

    “As many teenage girls, the need to feel loved and liked by those other than family is seemingly important.” I just reread your post to Shannon, Carol. These words come from a person (you) who has experienced this firsthand. It is one of the first little “she’s not a little girl anymore” realizations I had about my own two daughters. Where Mommy came first…is now filled with their peers’ acceptances, needs, and confidences. i also remember being that way. It is very important to try and remember what we felt and thought in those tumultuous years of our lives. It is so ordinarily normal at that age. All we can do is give our children a strong foundation built on love…then hope for the best….and when they need us (and this may be only with our foresight) be there for them consistently….sadly,
    even this is not always
    enough. 😦

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    • shannon says:

      I badly wanted love and approval from people outside of my family growing up. I thought this was really insightful of Carol. I wouldn’t have been able to put it to words.

      Like

  4. merle48 says:

    To Lisa, Exactly, and I’m glad you spoke for me!

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  5. merle48 says:

    To La Punisher, You are absolutely right.

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  6. merle48 says:

    To Lisa, I am amazed at your response…not because it is harsh and straightforward…because it is true. I first read the blog, and then Carol’s response, and all the time I had feelings bubbling inside me similar to yours. Maybe she meant well, but there can sometimes be too much banter for one one hurting person to absorb. I guess there are just so many different people and opinions in this world. I’m glad my intuition works as it does. I’m glad this mom has it all figured out, many of us had a “plan” too….I’m still learning everyday!

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    • Lisa says:

      To Merle48, I know my response was harsh but every parent as well as every child are different. Therefore I think parenting is unique for every family. I’m happy for that mom if her style of parenting is working for their family. She may have meant well in her blog. I just think her choice of reference was poorly thought out.

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    • shannon says:

      I sure as hell don’t have it all figured out. I don’t even know what “it” is. I’m stumbling through this parent thing along with everyone else.

      Like

  7. la Punisher says:

    I think that is a great blog and good reading tho’ the part where she writes “What happened with Amanda Todd is the saddest. The focus was and still is on her actions, when it should have been on loving the shit out of her” I don’t think she really knew what had transpired with the love for Amanda, In life Amanda had love from her parents and friends etc, in death the whole world poured out the love for this child and continues to do so. Other than that Good Blog.

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    • shannon says:

      I didn’t mean from her family, Ia. I meant from people criticizing Amanda’s actions. I still hear people talking about the choices Amanda made in dealing with her bully, and I think it’s total bullshit because the focus should be on the people who bullied her.

      Hope that clears up what I meant.

      Like

      • la Punisher says:

        Not a problem Shannon, I may have jumped to soon, or read it wrong or whatever it was… …But When it comes to Amanda, I become quite defensive for her, She has suffered at the hands of her peers more than any other human being on this planet, and I stand ready to protect her from any more abuse, You wrote a real great blog and I enjoyed reading it.

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  8. Lisa says:

    Well Carol… Truthfully I think this woman is completely delusional and very insulting. Does she think you didn’t love your daughter enough and that’s why Amanda is not here with us today? Does she think she loves her daughter more than anyone else loves theirs and that’s why HER daughter won’t have any problems because her mamas love will pull her through? That blog is so full of BS that I’m actually totally pissed over it. I have a 16 year old daughter and I love her like crazy. She knows it because not only do I tell her I love her, I show her. Just because I love her unconditionally does not mean she will be able to get through anything that life’s tough track will throw her way. If your daughter doesn’t talk to you about what is wrong all the love in the world won’t help. Carol, I know you loved Amanda and always will. I’m tired of people opening partially healed wounds for you by carelessly Writting about how “great of a parent” they are and what you “should have done.” wow! This is just my opinion anyway.
    Take care Carol.

    Like

    • shannon says:

      I’m not delusional enough to think that love is enough to save anyone. I have a life full of love and I’ve wanted to take my own life more than once. Certainly not for lack of love. I don’t know Carol at all, but I assume she did everything in her power to love the shit out of Amanda, the way I plan to love my girl.

      Carol said in her response that kids have a need for approval and attention from people outside of family. She was bang on. I’ll do everything in my power to be the safest place for Emma, but that doesn’t mean she’ll choose me.

      I have no doubt Carol is an amazing mom and did everything good parents do.

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    • shannon says:

      Also Lisa: it’s pretty amazing that Carol has someone as fierce and loyal on her side as you. We all need friends like you watching out for us. You’re lucky to have one another. Thanks for pushing me to clarify what I was trying to say.

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      • I think as parents, we all stumble and trip our way through it. Someone once talked about being an expert in things that we talk about. We will never be experts as what we go through as parents are usually first time experiences. I often think about the ‘invisible’ training manual that should go with having children. But … it doesn’t really exist except that we all have each other to support and help us out. We do (as parents) actually learn from each other. And now with social media, we are more able to connect with so many more parents. 🙂

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      • Lisa says:

        Shannon, I know I have strong opinions especially when it comes to this subject. Sometimes when reading blogs and writings from people you can take things differently than the person writting them meant. I’m sorry if I offended you. I’m happy you clarified things. I think its a no brainer that people who read Carols blog support her to the fullest and just want peace for her. Parenting is a very difficult journey for all of us and I believe there is no end to learning as we go.

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  9. Sue Hindle says:

    Wow.. I loved that blog post.. I am not a mom but I hope if I ever was I would think like her.. and you. I liked what she said about a parent never completely being in complete control of her babies. And I love one of the things you mentioned..’We have to arm our children with ideas and values and hope they are able to use them wisely. “

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