Day 33 – One month + 3 days (November 12, 2012)
Wow!! What another busy day. This one also threw me in a loop. It was the day that some of my friends came over to help (me) plan and organize Amanda’s Celebration of Life/Bday Memorial. I never realized how big the task really was in terms of details which is really funny because those who know me really well know that I love organizing (eg – Christmas Concerts, track and field, swim meets, hockey stuff, etc). I guess this one is a bit different as there is somewhat of a sad emotional attachment. I lost it the most today looking at pictures and listening to songs in deciding what to be used for the slideshow that dear friends are making for me. The one problem we all had was that Amanda seemingly was a budding photographer. Never understood why the batteries in my ‘good’ camera were always low. Now I know why. By the time we gathered all her pics from all the sources – her computer, her friends, her iTouch, my phone, …. there were well over a thousand pics taken over the past year or two. That doesn’t count the ones that me (her mom) took and stored away. I say it again … you have to develop those pictures so they are out there for your kids and family and friends to see. We had many giggles last night looking at pictures of our children when they were 0 to 10 years old. That’s when we were still developing pictures and not storing them on CDs, DVDs or USBs. It is something definitely to regret (as I do now). So, looking through all the pictures of Amanda and her friends, I was happy to see her in good times, fun times, drunk times and even stoned times. Yes, she told me about the times she ‘blazed’. I commend her for being honest with me. There are still alot of her friends that find it hard to talk to their moms and/or dads. Amanda’s blazing was just a small piece of her life and problems. As we all say ‘We (as parents) pick our battles, and that wasn’t one I was picking.’ She wasn’t operating machinery or driving a car. So it wasn’t such a big one to me. Also, my friends who are parents and are around my age, what exactly did you do when you were in your mid-teens? I know that I wasn’t exactly honest with my parents and I did things that were quite similar to what teens do today. Did you? Now be honest with yourself… LOL!!!
So I guess this rant has gone from me being truly sad today to one about communication with your teens. One friend of Amanda’s this weekend thanked me for telling her to go talk to her mom. I hoped it worked. That’s what Amanda would have wanted her to do. I know that because Amanda always brought friends home to me to show off her ‘cool mom’. Now I totally get it. So my friends, it doesn’t matter how much pop, cookies, juice, pizza, candy you give out to feed the friends of your children, know that this helps to get them back in your house to share stories and talk. It’s when you listen to the stories with them or sitting in another room that you can understand the life of a ‘confused and growing’ teenager more. I encourage all parents to read books and go to workshops related to Parenting a Teen. It can only help and certainly doesn’t hurt.
Love you all again and again…. Sweet dreams … Carol xoxo (Love to my kids)