February 24, 2013 – I’m back and better ..

Yesterday took me so much for a loop.  There was the fundraiser for Amanda (which went well) and then I had the daycare reunion dinner which was also great in so many other ways.  I’m not sure what hit me but it was like a ton of bricks.  Not even Rob (my BBBB) could help.  The waterfall gushed.  Had to find Kleenex.  It was hard to sit and do anything.  Her pictures and things are of course still present in where we lived as a family.  So it was difficult not to see reminders of her.  

As I was at the X Club Fitness Fundraiser for Amanda (click to see pictures) during the day, I was so thankful for all the people who came out to support her legacy but at the same time, wish that time could be turned back and we didn’t have to do any of that stuff.  So many people helped out.  The sun even came out on Saturday.  And the BBQ was going with burgers and hot dogs.  Did Amanda help out? Maybe.  Because it rained all day Friday and all day today (Sunday).  

I got messages via FB that were so kind.  There was one dad who wrote on my blog.  I wish I had met him and his daughter on Saturday.  But you never know, one day we will.  And I use happy coincidences as a starting point.  His first name is ‘Todd’.  Here was his message to me:

“My daughter Raegan and I attended the X Fitness fundraiser and had a wonderful time. Unfortunately we couldn’t stay til the end as I already had committments to volunteer in another charity later in the day, but nonetheless, we hung around and watched the Zumba workout. Raegan was trying her hardest to get me up to “Zumba”.. However, I reached deep in my pocket and pulled the “parent card” and I was able to dodge that demand from her! Last thing I needed was to pull a muscle!!! I saw Carol from a distance and I wanted to give her a hug for all that she is doing and thank her for this event, and also, helping me bring my relationship closer with my daughter. It was very hard for me to approach her. Maybe one day I will be able pluck up the courage. Thank you to all of the wonderful volunteers that worked so hard to make this event a success. You were all very kind, funny and more importantly,expressed your deep love and committment to Carol and Amanda.. I hope the day was a financial success. I am sure Amanda was watching from above smiling with approval. Keep up the great all of you and I will be waiting to attend the next fundraiser.  ~ Todd Oliver”

These are the messages and notes that always put me back in my happy place and allow me to feel that with all my tiredness, I can keep on going to help ‘Make The Difference’.  

As I continue with my story about Saturday, the thought of going to the dinner was hard.  Walking through the doors and seeing all the kids all grown up and growing up.  I spoke tonight with another mom who has lost a child.  While we don’t begrudge the happy times of others, it does make us sad.  We would never want anyone to ever stop talking about their children because of us, but it puts us who have lost, in a quieter and sadder moment.  I have great friends.  They made sure I was ok.  They provided kleenex.  They made sure my wine was poured and that I ate.  I love my friends (and the BBBB who also made sure I was happy and ok).

I woke up Sunday morning to rain.  But had a workout and then a massage. It was the best remedy and got my mind going and then relaxed and calm.  And then we have the toilet story but that is another blog story.

So it was a good day.  I felt better.   But on another note, 3 more contacts came with the fundraiser.  And they would like to meet.  Will the circle ever slow down.  My week is booked.  It’s Pink Shirt Day on Wednesday.  I went to get a couple of the RPM Hockey Against Bullying shirts.  Love them as my kids played hockey.  🙂

Keep happy. Stay dry.  

Hugz to everyone who comments and cares abt me when I am sad  … xoxo


About Carol Todd

Being the mother of Amanda Todd has lead me on this journey shortly after Amanda's death on October 10, 2012. Amanda's prolific You Tube video has been viewed over 33 million times. Through this video, there has been an increased awareness about cyberbullying, social media safety and mental health. www.amandatoddlegacy.org
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4 Responses to February 24, 2013 – I’m back and better ..

  1. Markus says:

    Thanks to everyone who cares for you in real live because I am too far away to give you a hug in such moments.
    Also good to hear that you felt better.
    Take care that you don’t burn out yourself.
    Take a rest if and when necessary. xoxo


  2. la Punisher says:

    Thank you Carol for the sharing, this was very touching and my heart goes out to you for those sad moments that you encountered.
    Someone once told me, That tears was, “God’s way of helping to heal a broken heart”
    Sending Love and a daily Hug…


  3. Tristan says:

    Beautifully written Carol, some happy to hear things turned out well at the fundraiser. Really enjoyed reading the message from Mr. Oliver. It must be just heart-warming in receiveing wonderful words like his. It shows that Amanda’s legacy is still having an impact on so many people out there and is drawing and rounding some of them up and putting them in your circle.
    And what could of possibly happened with the toilet story? lol , or should i even be asking! All in all im just glad your day had gotten better, im some glad you had the right people around you at the right times. I am glad your feeling better! Looking forward to pink shirt day!


  4. Frances Huif says:

    Thank you for sharing, Carol. You are always in my thoughts although we don’t see each other or talk often. Hope you’re doing well and look forward to our next meeting. Take care, xoxo


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