March 15 to 16th – Quiet Friday night ….

I am starting to write this now because I really don’t think I will be awake by midnight tonight.  It has been a brain tiring day.  I think the weirdness started this morning.  I had a dream.  There was a park and a large whiteboard.  On the whiteboard, names were being written.  It was in Amanda’s printing.  They were names of kids who had recently harassed her.   I only saw glimpses.  There was also another message that said for me to continue to talk to Kelby and her dad.  Hmmm…

That pretty much wiped me out and I hadn’t even started my day.  Was I busy today.  Yes I was.  Being Amanda’s mom.  I was in Safeway and a older person came up and asked me if I was Amanda’s mom.  I said yes.  He told me he had heard about her story, had wanted to contact me but didn’t because he didn’t know what to say.  He is a clinical counsellor and offered his services.  Then there was the cashier at Safeway who also asked if I was Amanda’s mom.  And the lady outside of Chapter’s who said she knew me from television news.  Wow …

Sometimes I don’t know what  to …. do, think, say …..

What do I say ….

I love all the people who say hi to me each morning and good night each evening.

It’s nice to be cared about….

I have a great new friend … SM. I care about her. She cares so much about kids.  Does she take the time to look after herself?  No.  I have to nag and encourage her.   Just like my friends do to me.  It’s all called ‘Pay It Forward’.

I feel bad that I didn’t go to the anti-bullying event last night.  Was just too overwhelmed by the week.  Received two emails today that $$ had been raised.   How do I get over that feeling of guilt not being there …


About Carol Todd

Being the mother of Amanda Todd has lead me on this journey shortly after Amanda's death on October 10, 2012. Amanda's prolific You Tube video has been viewed over 33 million times. Through this video, there has been an increased awareness about cyberbullying, social media safety and mental health.
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9 Responses to March 15 to 16th – Quiet Friday night ….

  1. merle48 says:

    Be courteous to all, but intimate with few, and let those few be well tried before you give them your confidence. -G. Washington


  2. merle48 says:

    Every comment is so true, you have so many feelings to sort out, and you must have unlimited time to do this in any way that helps you, Please allow yourself the freedom to take a break from your generosity to others, and take care of yourself, because if you don’t have yourself, then what?


  3. Savetheworld says:

    Don’t ever allow yourself too feel guilty. There is no room for that in anyone’s life! You always do your best and everyone knows it. Actually you need to take a break and you need to take care of Carol! People understand do t you worry 🙂 xo ❤


  4. Andria says:

    Hola,chato seria mesmo se não tivesse nada seu para lermos .Mando um beijo do Brasil !!
    Que Deus te abençoe hoje amanhã e sempre !!


  5. la Punisher says:

    Sometimes words are just hard to come by, so say whatever feels right
    Have a good day Carol Hugz 2U


  6. Paul K says:

    Good to hear the insomnia is passing.Maybe you will have more rewarding and revealing dreams as your quality of sleep improves.Trust in those intuitions…….


  7. Sue Hindle says:

    You should say what ever feels comfortable for you to say.. people probably just want you to know they care.. Pleasant dreams tonight Carol..


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