March 19 @ 1:04 a.m. – Shared thoughts ….

If you are a regular visitor here, it is probably because you are reading my posts. But you do and should go and read some of the other comments that are written as well as look in the Reflections and Share your Story tabs.  There was a boys story that was posted last night and shared.  My heart ached.  I did contact him.  He shared some thoughts with me.  In his post, he mentioned that he hadn’t talked to anyone about his thoughts and feelings.  Since then, he has talked to him mom.   There are other things to work out but I love how people are reaching out to one another in this blog.  It is all about the positives and how we can help and support each other.  I am also going to randomly share comments from my virtual friends.  The warm fuzzies of the comments come to me as I read them on my phone each morning.  The inspiration and love that comes with each message is wonderful.  Especially on those darker mornings or days.

Speaking of darker, I don’t think I am alone in my feelings for what has happened in life.  I have been in contact with many parents and relatives who have lost a child in a similar manner to my story.  It’s is all so sad.  I can’t keep all the names and faces straight anymore.  I have notes everywhere.  Even 3 notebooks going.  Keeping it all in the computer just doesn’t work either.

I was part of a conference call this morning with an educator and some parents from New Brunswick.  So cool to talk to parents at the other end of the Canada.  Topic was bullying/cyberbullying, etc.  Such a vast topic with many facets.  Wish there was a simple answer.  If you are a parent or a teacher reading this, what programs are your schools using.  Would be interesting to know.

OK .. I had a workout today.  Did I ever share with you that I really don’t like working out.  It’s like that horrid vitamin stuff I used to have to take when I was a kid.  It was good for you.  So the same with fitness and exercise.  It is good for me, that’s why I do it.  But I moan, groan and complain through it (with laughter of course) and then moan, groan, complain about the aches for the next 3 days.  Hmmm… I have another workout booked for Saturday.

Good news .. I put out that hoodies and t-shirts would be available really soon.  It actually takes 3 weeks for them to print them.  The response has been astounding.  Just have to figure out how to collect the $$.  I can’t believe that so many friends want the hoodies and t-shirts.  And not everyone knows.   I must say, they look good.  In the pictures anways. Fingers crossed.

Bedtime for me!!  Time sure flies when I’m trying to sort out a paper mess.  One day soon, I will think of more Amanda stories to share.  Like when at daycare she went temporarily missing.  Because she had gone in the kitchen area at daycare and hid in the cupboards, not saying a peep (or giggling).

Or the time when she was five years old and she wanted to be goalie in soccer.  Ummm… but Amanda … if the cold wet ball hits you in the face, it will hurt and you will cry.  No mom, it’s okay.  I won’t.  And she did.  Sigh!!!

Or the time when she wanted to feed the ducks at the pond but you weren’t supposed to.   Hmmm… that’s where all the bread went.  And I guess the ducks got puffier when the bread expanded.  Yikes Amanda … stop.

I will think hard for more tidbits.  I just have to look at the pictures.  Deep thought .. .but the pics make me cry.  So I will just have to think harder.  I can do that.

Pictures of all 3 clothing items …  hugz … xoxo


About Carol Todd

Being the mother of Amanda Todd has lead me on this journey shortly after Amanda's death on October 10, 2012. Amanda's prolific You Tube video has been viewed over 33 million times. Through this video, there has been an increased awareness about cyberbullying, social media safety and mental health.
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12 Responses to March 19 @ 1:04 a.m. – Shared thoughts ….

  1. namedallas says:

    I love the picture of Amanda with that big cat to,thats the way life should be enjoyed.


  2. Paul K says:

    To Merle-I always said a house is a little more warmer when there is a pet inside……


  3. merle48 says:

    To Paul, I too love the picture of Amanda with that very big cat in the forest. She looked very happy around animals as I’ve seen from other pictures with her dog. I too, am an animal lover, and find they are not only our best friends, but very therapeutic also.


  4. merle48 says:

    For once Carol, I cannot relate to you… (haha) I have been a runner for many years and need to do it to clear my head…a very cheap high. However, I do

    understand where you’re coming from.. Just want to tell you that exercise is a wonderful therapy for sorting feelings, clearing the head, just find something you enjoy which gives you that “endorphin” rush. I believe Yoga is also great for body and mind. When you unselfishly share with others the way you do… enables the healing process.


  5. la Punisher says:

    You are a real wonderful person reaching out to that young person and others who were bullied
    and putting aside your own grieve. That’s pretty amazing Carol

    Yes, There is a lot of people who lost a child thro’ bullying, But we allowed the bullying to
    happen and get to this level And now we have to make a stand and change that, If we don’t do it now It will only get worse, One step at a time and one person at a time

    It is so good to hear you are exercising and taking care of yourself
    Keep it up girl… Love the tidbits on Amanda, So cute..

    hugz 2U


    • She was actually quite good at figure skating. However, at the point where they pull you aside and let you know that your daughter should be in private lessons and it cost this amount of $$, we said hmmm. So she moved on to ice hockey.


  6. Tristan says:

    Just love these Amanda stories. I remember you saying somewhere that she played soccer but she didn’t like it so much, lol , im guessing that might be part of the reason why. Them cold wet balls can catch you in the nose before you have a chance to blink! and take you by surprise. So looking forward to getting a shirt, will be placing an order in shortly. Many of those story’s on the other tabs are very strong , I find it is great that people have a place to go too , and get that off their chest. Instead of doing one on one with someone or talking about it in person, sometimes its a lot easier to get it out through typing where it gives you a chance to go back and adjust your words and really think of how you want to tell it.


    • It was the ‘wet cold ball’ that smacked her in the head – face, eyes, nose. You name it. We gave up soccer very quickly for figure skating.


      • Tristan says:

        awww, at five years old im sure it would almost have enough power to knock you right over backwards too. On the bright side at least she stopped it from going in the net lol . I dont blame her for taking up figure skating ,, much colder though if you fall


  7. Paul K says:

    It should of been spelled “allotted”.


  8. Paul K says:

    I do not like stationary work-outs,but some times you have to if the weather is bad.I have one of those”Walk-Fit” treadmills.You move your arms back and forth while walking the treadmill.If you thought a microwave minute is long,the time on a treadmill is worse.I found a solution though.I turned the treadmill around to face the T.V.I put on one of those Rick Steves travel shows.I watched the show with the beautiful,changing scenery,while listening to Rick describe the features.I got so absorbed in the show I almost forgot I was “walking”.My alloted time went by,and at the same time it was mentally stimulating,not the same as mentally boring and watching the clock count the minutes,seconds.Only way to fly.Detach visually somehow.I really enjoy the stories about Amanda interacting with her animal friends.The picture of her holding that big cat in the forest with her beautific face a beaming,never fails to warm my heart.


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