March 21st – Tough day in Amanda’s room

Before you read further, check out this article – http://www.wbal.com/article/98448/3/template-story/Cyberbullying-Bill-Gets-Committee-Approval  (I have also connected with this mom in Maryland)

 

Since October 10, 2012, I can count the number of times I  have gone into Amanda’s room.  Probably five.  Three of the times was for reasons.  One of the times, I just went in to see what it would be like. I left right away.  Some kind of premonition made a new virtual friend from Alberta (who is now a real friend) call me on the phone to say hi and see how I am.  She calmed my tears and made me feel better.  Since then, we have talked back and forth about life, our daughters, dreams, jobs, etc.  All good.  Today I went into Amanda’s room for the fifth time.  Just to see what it would be like.  Hmm…. wasn’t the greatest feeling.  I did stay manage to stay in there for about 45 seconds before the tears and thoughts started streaming through my head.

I hate writing sad and depressing posts on my blog. BUT … it’s the place that I go to let it out. I do talk but as I shared with someone today, sometimes I am all talked out.

So I cried my tears and felt emotional all day.  My BBBB has a man cold.  I think it is soon turning into a Carol cold.  I have done the vitamins, Vitamin C, hot tea and lemon, etc.  Trying to stay away from the people colds.  (That was something about Amanda, she never really got sick.)

I have to share the story about Matthew Tod and his mom Michelle.  So weird how it comes to be that the mom shares that name with Amanda and when told her that Amanda’s middle name was Michelle …  Plus Matthew’s cousin is named Amanda.  We are connected somehow.

Do you remember the Oliver story?  The little boy who instead of bday presents wanted money so he could buy his whole school Stop Bullying bracelets.  I met his teacher today.  She was great to talk to and had lots of ideas.  In my mind, a teacher who is an idea generator.  So randomly we meet, and we find out we share a mutual friend.  It’s those kinds of stories that tell me that things are meant to be.

I saw a post on my Facebook wall tonight.  It was written by the son of the wonderful person who has taken Amanda’s clothes to make the memory quilt.  She is also from a city where my BBBB was born and grew up.  Funny enough, she bumped into some ‘grown men’ while shopping today that my BBBB knew when he was growing up.  So picking up the quilt will be even more special.

Here is what was written by the 15 year old … (it is priceless, like the Mastercard ads)

 My 15 yr. old son wrote this for his English class…….

on Thursday, April 7, 2011 at 5:33pm

We all need to learn a little about respect.

It’s inside all of us, even the people you least expect.

We need to fight back to retract the act of verbal attack.

No one needs to be put down, made to feel like crap.

Hate surrounds us everywhere we go.

It takes strong will to not let it show.

But if everyone was a little more compassionate.

Then the world we live in could just forget about it.

I’m trying to make it sound easy, I try to  inspire.

To try out respect, cus it’s something that everyone should desire.

It may sound a little bit crazy, trust me, I know.

I also know you’ll feel guilty if I ask you to be peaceful and you say no.

I’ve been there, said stuff to put someone down.

What for? Just to see the small glimpse of a frown?

It’s not worth it to make someone feel sad.

In the end, you’re gonna be the one who feels bad.

R.E.S.P.E.C.T.

It’s as easy as doing you’re ABC’s.

It’s only hard if you make it that way.

Now listen closely, listen to what I gotta say.

If we forget clique’s and everybody just act in a kind way.

If we take the time to listen to what others have to say.

We can make a change,  for life as we know it today.

When happiness surrounds you, it’ll keep the hate at bay.

And for some people, a simple smile will be enough to make their day.

You got the power of respect in you, so what do you say?