March 27th – PS, spring flowers, friends, …

As I sat tonight looking for a picture to use as a thank you card for those that have helped with Amanda’s Legacy, I couldn’t help to remember and admire my daughter for her many talents.  How she wanted to help others (usually).  She loved young children and when she was at daycare as an ‘older child’, she would help out with the younger ones.  She liked watching over my friends younger girls but she didn’t really being tied down to a babysitting job.  I looked at the pictures of Amanda that she and her friends had taken in the past 4 months.  Boy was she blossoming into a beautiful young woman.  The picture that I posted tonight … even though she had that short short short dress on, she had long legs.  I guess those legs helped her figure skate and do her cheerleading stunts as a top girl.

Amanda always said she was going to start ‘running’ in the summer.  She never quite got there.  In grade 5, there were relays in our school district.  Amanda was on a team with 3 other girls.  She was the anchor person.  There were lots of schools represented.  The top 10 teams that crossed the finish line got a rosette ribbon for their school.  All other teams got participation ribbons.  Amanda’s team came in 5th.  You should have seen her run.  I guess her adrenalin took hold and there was no stopping her.  It was one of the proud parent kind of moments.  I have a picture somewhere.  I am also trying to get the ribbon from her elementary school which was also the one I taught at.  I must say that I am so glad that I was able to watch both my kids go through Kindergarten to grade 5.  Even though I saw them everyday at school, it was okay.  I got to see all their assemblies, class presentations, gym performances, christmas concerts, track events, sports days, etc.  Not realizing then how short Amanda’s life would be.  I now cherish those moments.  So in talking to parents, no one knows about time.   It is sometimes hard to get time off work.  Then try to send a friend or relative to take the video or the pictures.  It is so important sometimes that your child (especially if suffering from some self confidence issues) knows that someone is there.  It’s a small thing but a big thing.  Sort of like the pebble and boulder that we have with our partners and spouses.

I was at lunch today with a girlfriend I hadn’t seen in a bit.  We have known each other for about 18 years now.  Our girls went to daycare together also.  She reminded me of the pond story where Amanda rode into the pond (with the ducks and tadpoles).  I told her there would be a bench put in the park for Amanda’s memory.  She was so happy.  We all share memories and pieces.  I think the benches at the park will be very busy.

Spring is here with the daffodils all out.  Amanda used to like it when I brought home cut daffodils and tulips. We tried to grow them outside once.  It didn’t work.  Not sure why.  But … when Amanda was little .. she would pick crocuses from other peoples gardens (the purple ones of course) and bring them home to me to put in a vase.   Love you PS!!

The days go quickly.  I cry more easily these days.  Why does it seem like life is getting a bit harder to deal with sometimes?  What I am proud of is that there are so many people by my side?  My real family, my real friends and of course, the friends I have met over my virtual network.  I hope one day I can meet some of them.  I am actually meeting a family tomorrow afternoon.  Can’t wait…  I hope they like me.  Tara found the perfect saying today about friendship and snowflakes.  Wow ….

This evening at my door, I had two surprises.   $$ towards the Amanda Todd Legacy.  The mom of some of Amanda’s friends did a bake sale at her office (with bracelets) and raised over $500.  Then the sister of another one of Amanda’s friends brought me a snowflake tree topper for my Christmas tree for next year.  OMG … such wonderful and thoughtful people.  Just when I get afraid that people will forget, leave, get bored and move onto another cause, something appears to get me energized again.

Sweet dreams my lovely friends… xoxo

Hugz and xxxx

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About Carol Todd

Being the mother of Amanda Todd has lead me on this journey shortly after Amanda's death on October 10, 2012. Amanda's prolific You Tube video has been viewed over 33 million times. Through this video, there has been an increased awareness about cyberbullying, social media safety and mental health. www.amandatoddlegacy.org
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14 Responses to March 27th – PS, spring flowers, friends, …

  1. Hey there! I’ve been reading your site for a long time now and finally got the bravery to go ahead and give you a shout out from Lubbock Tx! Just wanted to say keep up the great work!

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  2. Sue Hindle says:

    I agree Amanda was blossoming into a beautiful young woman, I will never forget or get bored or move on to another cause.. It has made me more aware of other students in my school.. who might need extra support. and not just academically

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  3. Andria says:

    As lembranças são boas para acalentar o coração …os verdadeiros amigos nen sempre estão presentes de corpo ..mas de alma, tenha em seu coraçao a amizade que todos estão lhe oferecendo …seja feliz Carol todas as manhãs Pois Deus é contigo hoje amahã e sempre de sua amiga virtual Deia .

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    • la Punisher says:

      Translation = The memories are good for the heart … cherish the true friends are always present nen body .. but the soul, keep in your heart the friendship that everyone is offering you … Carol is happy every morning for God is with you today and always Amaha his virtual friend Deia.

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  4. namedallas says:

    Sorry about the wording of that measage,no matter how hard I try I just can’t seem to write things where they are easly understood.

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    • la Punisher says:

      To namedallas: Welcome back,..There is really no reason that you should be sorry for what you wrote, It made perfect sense, And trying to write our feelings or thoughts is always tough, But if its from the heart than there are no sorry’s to be said because its all true, and truth will never be made sorry,.. I am also happy that Carols blogs has a hold on you, cause there is so much learning to be had from them, I just Love the blogs
      One last word… Don’t put yourself or what you do down, We are all humans and we all fall short of being perfect, So love yourseld, Be happy and Stay Strong…Have A Great day

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  5. namedallas says:

    Sorry Carol
    I know I siad I was getting off these sights and I tried for a few day ,but couldn’t. In your last sentence you wrote (just when I get afaid that poeple will forget,leave,get borad and move on to another cause).When I was little my mom was doing canning on the stove and I came in from playing outside and before my mom could catch me I leaned up against the hot pressure cooker on the stove,and ended up with a big burn blister on my arm.So you learn from a young age that when something hurts you ,you stay away from it.This was my theory in getting off these sights, I thought if I got off of them I would feel better,and I didn’t. It’s funny how something can hurt you so much and yet you be so drawn to it that you reach out and touch it again. I realy do love reading all the many stories about Amanda’s life.The fulness of the stories of her life fills many of the empty area’s of mine. Thanks again Carol for sharing.

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  6. la Punisher says:

    Not even going to comment on this “Beautiful Read”, except to say… Yes, Amanda was starting to blossom into a beautiful young woman ~ What a beautiful young lady !!! Have a wonderful day Carol Hugz 2U 🙂

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    • Hamsi says:

      I agree with you, La Punisher, and there was in addition an air of serenity in Amanda’s latest pictures.

      What a poignant walk down memory lane, Carol!

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  7. merle48 says:

    This is one of your most beautiful writes to me! I believe running would have been a great de-stressor for Amanda. Yes, it is so important to support our children when they have different events going on in school or extracurricular…it just shows we care…and that equates with all the people who support you and your daughter’s legacy. Please don’t worry about the future…THAT will take care of itself. ” “Sometimes we must unfocus our way to clarity”. ~Terri Guillemets

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  8. Paul K says:

    Hi Doris-I am not sure if you are the Doris that is fabricating Amanda’s quilt,but if you are,firstly,”hello’.A finely assembled quilt is a pleasure to see,and even better to snuggle under when a body seeks a warm,comfortable rest.May your stitching be strong.

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  9. Tristan says:

    Another beautiful read Carol, and that is a really nice picture of your PS. I remember reading in the letter you had written to her for her birthday about that dress and your boots. Ive seen other different pics of her i think taken around the same time with that dress on (I think) but i didn’t realize that was the same dress she had gotten for her BD party and the one you mentioned in the letter. Love hearing the stories of her at school ,racing, and helping out with the daycare, stories like these really put a smile on one’s face. I can’t believe you already have daffodils out. Geez, were still waiting for the snow to melt away, we haven’t seen the ground yet since November. I really do look forward and hope to meet you ‘if’ and when you do make it down this way. I definitely would Not want to miss out on that opportunity. It would mean a lot to me to be able to finally meet you. Its great hearing and knowing your still getting these wonderful surprises popping up at your door. Their is many, many people out there who truly do care!

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  10. Doris Beckthold says:

    Whats not to like about you?? You’re awesome !!! I admit I was a little nervous but after a few short minutes I felt like I’ve known you forever. Sweet dreams tonight….

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