March 27th – PS, spring flowers, friends, …

As I sat tonight looking for a picture to use as a thank you card for those that have helped with Amanda’s Legacy, I couldn’t help to remember and admire my daughter for her many talents.  How she wanted to help others (usually).  She loved young children and when she was at daycare as an ‘older child’, she would help out with the younger ones.  She liked watching over my friends younger girls but she didn’t really being tied down to a babysitting job.  I looked at the pictures of Amanda that she and her friends had taken in the past 4 months.  Boy was she blossoming into a beautiful young woman.  The picture that I posted tonight … even though she had that short short short dress on, she had long legs.  I guess those legs helped her figure skate and do her cheerleading stunts as a top girl.

Amanda always said she was going to start ‘running’ in the summer.  She never quite got there.  In grade 5, there were relays in our school district.  Amanda was on a team with 3 other girls.  She was the anchor person.  There were lots of schools represented.  The top 10 teams that crossed the finish line got a rosette ribbon for their school.  All other teams got participation ribbons.  Amanda’s team came in 5th.  You should have seen her run.  I guess her adrenalin took hold and there was no stopping her.  It was one of the proud parent kind of moments.  I have a picture somewhere.  I am also trying to get the ribbon from her elementary school which was also the one I taught at.  I must say that I am so glad that I was able to watch both my kids go through Kindergarten to grade 5.  Even though I saw them everyday at school, it was okay.  I got to see all their assemblies, class presentations, gym performances, christmas concerts, track events, sports days, etc.  Not realizing then how short Amanda’s life would be.  I now cherish those moments.  So in talking to parents, no one knows about time.   It is sometimes hard to get time off work.  Then try to send a friend or relative to take the video or the pictures.  It is so important sometimes that your child (especially if suffering from some self confidence issues) knows that someone is there.  It’s a small thing but a big thing.  Sort of like the pebble and boulder that we have with our partners and spouses.

I was at lunch today with a girlfriend I hadn’t seen in a bit.  We have known each other for about 18 years now.  Our girls went to daycare together also.  She reminded me of the pond story where Amanda rode into the pond (with the ducks and tadpoles).  I told her there would be a bench put in the park for Amanda’s memory.  She was so happy.  We all share memories and pieces.  I think the benches at the park will be very busy.

Spring is here with the daffodils all out.  Amanda used to like it when I brought home cut daffodils and tulips. We tried to grow them outside once.  It didn’t work.  Not sure why.  But … when Amanda was little .. she would pick crocuses from other peoples gardens (the purple ones of course) and bring them home to me to put in a vase.   Love you PS!!

The days go quickly.  I cry more easily these days.  Why does it seem like life is getting a bit harder to deal with sometimes?  What I am proud of is that there are so many people by my side?  My real family, my real friends and of course, the friends I have met over my virtual network.  I hope one day I can meet some of them.  I am actually meeting a family tomorrow afternoon.  Can’t wait…  I hope they like me.  Tara found the perfect saying today about friendship and snowflakes.  Wow ….

This evening at my door, I had two surprises.   $$ towards the Amanda Todd Legacy.  The mom of some of Amanda’s friends did a bake sale at her office (with bracelets) and raised over $500.  Then the sister of another one of Amanda’s friends brought me a snowflake tree topper for my Christmas tree for next year.  OMG … such wonderful and thoughtful people.  Just when I get afraid that people will forget, leave, get bored and move onto another cause, something appears to get me energized again.

Sweet dreams my lovely friends… xoxo

Hugz and xxxx