I cannot believe that 6 months has gone by. On some days, it feels like a long time ago life changed and then sometimes, it feels like yesterday. I wish it was just a never!! I talk to my therapist and we talk through my thoughts, ideas and feelings. I brought with me last session a letter that Amanda had written me in October 2011 and a mother’s day card that she wrote to me last May. Both are sad and yet so truthful. In both she wrote that she would never leave me. That she loved me so. I had to show my therapist what makes me so angry about her death. That the dark cloud so covered her that she wasn’t able to see any brights. I wish I could show you her letter but if I did, the ‘horrible people’ out there would just rip it apart like they usually do in their sad lives.
I had a great bday week. So many nice cards, thoughts, wishes and gifts. I got taken out for lunches and dinners. I love my friends, family and virtual friends. Thank you Markus for remembering me and sending me yet another crystal snowflake from Austria. I have included the link so you can see it spin. How ironic the snowflake was the Swarovski Christmas Ornament for 2012. Here is the link. Click it and watch it spin so beautifully. http://www.swarovski.com/Web_US/en/1125019/product/Christmas_Ornament,_Annual_Edition_2012.html I have so many beautiful snowflakes now. And of course, I have had a crystal collection for years and Amanda would help me clean the ornaments yearly. Once we lost the tusk off the elephant and the wings off the swan. I think the elephant went back to the jeweller and the swan was crazy glued. The snowflake ornament is no longer available. Was 2012 the year of the snowflake for some reason???
I have spent the evening frustratedly (is that a word), looking up flights for Vegas. I want and plan to go in late June for some fun, some extreme heat (way too hot down there at that time of year) and a conference – Girls and Bullying. I think it’s personal interest that I want to go and as well, I have so many people that I talk to. As said before, I’m not an expert but I won’t give up any chances for further learning. If we all stopped that part of our brain from working, I am not sure what would happen in the world.
I am preparing for my meeting with the NDP person who is the present Health Critic. Just like last week, there is so much to talk about but it has to be narrowed down. I have received so many words and thoughts from parents and youth that I know who have gone through or are going through the system. I feel for each and every one of them.
I saw this posted somewhere and it made me sad because the note reminded me of Amanda’s words and notes to me … This shouldn’t be happening. I was talking with someone last week and as with many tragic stories of death, kids forget the reasons. I think that stories like Amanda’s, and Danielle’s and Grace’s shouldn’t be forgotten. They need to be talked about so that we can learn from them. So that the kids that are saying the things that they don’t realize hurt so much remember why they shouldn’t be be saying those things. We need to work on restorative practices to make the world a better place for our kids now and the ones who aren’t born yet.
I need to get off my soapbox now and go play some Candy Crush before bed!!
2 days until April 10th. (Happy early birthday Michael Bell!!) Please remember to light your candles in memory of Amanda.
P.S. I found two coins on the ground when I was out for yet another bday lunch today. What did I do … flipped the coins of course and made a wish (or two).
This is so sad!
eventually ended up taking her own life.
The girl’s mother Danielle Green read her letter to the Senate Education
Committee where she hoped Congress would pass a bill that made harsher rules
Green’s daughter Angel wrote a letter specifically for her bullies.
Here’s what she wrote:
“To all the bullies that have called me names, [you] are the reason why I am
feeling the way I am now. I didn’t want to die. I just wanted to be saved
from the pain.”
In a separate letter to her mother, Angel wrote:
“I’m really sorry that I did this … don’t you EVER think it was your
fault. Because it’s not. I love you so much and I couldn’t ask for a better
mom … but my heart can’t take this pain. It’s bullying that killed me.
Please get justice.”
That is just. Heart wrenching. Our deepest condolences to her mother.
Angel killed herself on March 5th, from a rope on a tree. The tree was
passed by her school bus every day, and her body was seen by all of her
Here’s what the mother said:
“She did this before the bus was going to be there. so her bullies would see
We sincerely hope something is done to battle bullying.
A little girl was lost way too early because of its devastating effects.