April 11, 2013 – Love you so much PS!!! – 6 months + 1 day after October 10, 2012 –

I am combining two blog posts together.  One old and one new.  I feel they should be together for the reason that …..

Yesterday being April 10th was an extraordinary day.  One that I never would have expected to happen.  I woke up in the morning and cancelled my two appointments for the day.  I felt that I needed to be alone to reflect on the past 6 months.  Boy was I wrong about that.  The phone started ringing.  My Twitter started twitterpating.  My email was going crazy.  The media was alive with the sound of ….  hmmm…. Amanda’s voice.  OMGoodness!!!  By 10 a.m., I had both CTV x2 + Global News at my doorstep with their cameras and reporters for interviews.  Maybe I failed time-telling.  Lucky for me, the reporters knew each other and worked out a plan to tape and ask questions in tandem.  I am so getting used to B-Roll and it is so boring to pretend to do something and NOT TALK!!

Besides CTV and Global, I talked to another CBC radio show in Toronto, CKNW – Simi Sara, CBC National News in Toronto for Radio and then had Global BC1 in the evening at the studio.  Now doing Live TV is kind of scary.  You can’t mess up and if you cry, it’s for real and everyone can see.  When I was at the Global station, I almost lost it when I started to watch Amanda’s You Tube video.  I have to tell you … I still cannot watch it.  Too many memories.  Makes me cry.  Makes me miss her.

Some of the questions asked today were:   Are you noticing a change in bullying?  How do you continue to do what you are doing as a grieving mother?  Why do you do what you are doing?  How do you feel at this 6 month period?  What were your reactions to the story about Rehteah Parsons in Nova Scotia?  Why did you reach out to the mom?  and more….

I am ever the pessimist and had to ask my friends if my words were really worthwhile.  I only hope that people listen to what I say.  I am not preaching.  I am just sharing.  I do read and listen to other peoples stories.  It’s all to help ‘Make the Difference’ and I know that those that surround me are 100% in support of helping me.  I love all the wonderful comments and support.   That is what keeps me going.  I so miss Amanda.  I want ever to give her a hug and a poke.  To push her off the couch.  To flick macaroni at each other.   To eat neopolitan ice cream and have her scoop all the vanilla out while I ate the chocolate.  To steal my favourite nail polish and for me never to see it again.  To ‘borrow’ my socks so that I had to go to Costco and rebuy new ones every other month.  To leave all the purple popsicles in the freezer and eat all the other colours.  But Amanda, purple was your favourite colour!!!

I love you Princess Snowflake.  Lots of people had their candles burning today and tonight all over the world.

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About Carol Todd

Being the mother of Amanda Todd has lead me on this journey shortly after Amanda's death on October 10, 2012. Amanda's prolific You Tube video has been viewed over 33 million times. Through this video, there has been an increased awareness about cyberbullying, social media safety and mental health. www.amandatoddlegacy.org
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11 Responses to April 11, 2013 – Love you so much PS!!! – 6 months + 1 day after October 10, 2012 –

  1. Andria says:

    Sua força crece a cada dia …e cobre o mundo com total alegria …a luta é incansávél mas a vitória é certa .Fica com Deus sempre beijosssssssss!!!!


    • la Punisher says:

      Translation for Andria:
      His strength CRECE every day … and cover the world with total joy … the fight is relentless but victory is certain. kissessssssssss Stay with God forever!!


  2. Hamsi says:

    Thanks again for another heartfelt post. About your saying that you cannot watch Amanda’s YouTube video….to this day I have not been able to watch it, although I have seen numerous screen shots in news stories.


  3. Kaitlin Steer says:

    Carol, You are amazing and I know Amanda Is shinning and is so proud of you and how you are keeping her dreams alive. You and your family are in my prays ❤ Kaitlin Steer


  4. Renée Bégin says:

    I have been thinking about Amanda every day for the past six months and I just wanted you to know that my thoughts are with you and your family. It has been snowing often in Toronto this past winter and every time I saw snowflakes falling from the sky, I was reminded of Princess Snowflake. Actually, it was snowing this morning… It will be wonderful to sit on the bench that will commemorate Amanda’s legacy and contemplate the scenery.


  5. namedallas says:

    The last sentence was suposed to be( your writing)not our writing.I don’t know where those letters go,it ‘s like they just fall off the page.


  6. namedallas says:

    Hi Carol
    Yes Carol your words are very worth while that’s why we keep coming back.The things that you get out of writing it may not always be the things that we get out of reading it,but the things you write we always get something from it that always brings us back.I love the last half of the last paragraph,all the things that sound so little,but have such a big place in life.It’s those little details that give our writing such fullness. Thanks for sharing!


  7. la Punisher says:

    Carol you are ” ONE BUSY LADY”, Where do you get all that energy from?? Saw your interview on global news and you spoke with a lot of confidence. Your work is wonderful, I’m sure Amanda would be just beaming with pride having a mother like you, Don’t ever give up the fight ~ Stay Strong

    Wishing Blessings of Love ~Peace ~ Joy 4u all day And many good Hugz,… Hugz 2U


  8. Tristan says:

    Six months past and Amanda’s story is still flying around the Country and beyond through the news and television. It sounds to have been an extremely busy day for you, which i think is good on days like 10th of any month. At least i think it would help push you through the day that much easier. Ive been stuck going back and fourth between home and the ER room for my GF the past few days , and every time they always have the news station on in the waiting room. Every time im in there, the Parsons story comes on and I particularly notice how quiet the room gets and everyone paying extra close attention to the TV during that news story. Your name gets mentioned or the interview comes on and then i hear the conversations springing up around me about you and Amanda, and the Parsons girl. I do over hear lots of good things being said, like from this morning ,one woman said to another ,something along these lines ” God bless her for being able to be strong and to get up there share her thoughts and story’s and helping others!” ” I couldn’t do it, that woman amazes me”. I think the interviews looked really good and went over really well, your messages and words were loud and clear. Its funny you mentioning the neopolitan ice cream story,, just the other day me and my gf decided to get some neopolitan ice cream( we hardly ever eat ice cream) and sure enough i got stuck with all the Vanilla (which i dont like) and she got all the good stuff! Why we didn’t just buy chocolate to begin with so we’ll both be happy is beyond me. Normally I wouldn’t share that kind of story on your blog but reading that part struck me funny and had to mention it. Thinking of you, wishing you warm wishes and hoping for a sunny day,, always sunny days ahead!


  9. merle48 says:

    Absorb all those memories for that is why God gave them to you We cannot learn, or feel without them. So precious are those little moments with Amanda that are worth more than an island in the sun…what you wouldn’t trade for her presence! Believe in her spirit, and allow that to comfort you…your daughter…your heart…


  10. I do hope that people are listening and that a difference is made. I saw your global news interview yesterday and thought you did a great job, I will have to catch up with the other interviews and articles later on today. as always I it a candle yesterday for P.S. Take care Carol, and take that mental health day soon, you need some time to breath and reflect. Hugz


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