April 24 – What makes a giver? What makes a taker?

I often remember those words as I was growing up.  You had givers and you had takers.  It always feels good to give but then there is always that urge to take too.  So where do most people in the world fall?  What makes people give in their life?  And what makes people take?   Are all those that take good?  What are truly the benefits of having both qualities?

When raising children as parents or educating them as teachers, we are continually encouraging children to give and share.  This is such an important part of the human chain.  We only hope that when ‘the child’ grows up to become ‘the youth’ and then ‘the adult’, that they generate compassion and caring for others.  I guess that the opposite of ‘give and take‘ could/would be ‘share and steal‘.  What an interesting comparison.  We would hope that taking and stealing will eventually cease to exist.  But one can take an steal things in many forms.

One form would be of concrete nature.  You can steal personal belongings and objects.  You can see them as well as touch, feel and taste.   Another form would be less tangible.  You can take/steal thoughts.  You can take/steal words. You can take/steal emotions.  And horribly, you can also take/steal a human life.  That would be the cruelest form but I guess when you think about it, bullying/cyberbullying/exploiting a person are actions that can be described as taking or stealing.  When the emotions of one gets so bad that the person (whether young or old or boy or girl or man or woman) wants to end their life, the takers have gone to far.

What should happen to the takers?  If guilty beyond a reasonable doubt, those involved should be penalized with the natural consequence to their actions.  I have always believe that, even with children, the punishment should fit the crime.  Some natural consequences might be harder to determine but with thought and care, something would deem suitable.  Takers must be held accountable.  I wonder in life, what makes a ‘mean spirited taker’ do what he/she does.  Was it something in the air?  in the water?  Was someone not nice to them during childhood?  teenagehood?  Are they playing out the ‘kick the dog, kick the cat, kick the bird’ scenario?  How are they in their real world of working?  socializing?  Are they nice to their parents/grandparents?

How do we find out how a taker ticks?  I am sure we meet them all the time in our everyday lives.  Here are some thoughts for the ‘takers in the world’ would be for you to realize what you have done in your life that has been both meaningless and meaningful. Then take all those meaningless events and reflect on them.  If you could relive your moments, how would you change them?  What would you say to the person that you ‘took’ from?  Ponder why it is important for you to take from someone.  Their laughter.  Their love.  Their spirit.  Their integrity.  And eventually their life.

Amanda was taken away many takers.  If you go back to her You Tube video, watch it and see how many times things were taken from her.

Amanda can no longer can give in the real life sense.  However, she continues to give with her legacy and the words found on her computer.  She wants to give back the ability to fight to all those kids out there being bullied.  She wants to help and teach others to be strong.

To all those out there that took parts of my daughter spirit away (in life and now in death), I hope you know who you are and how to make changes to MAKE A DIFFERENCE.  For those of you who still laugh and post sh*t, think about any future children you might have and put them in the place of yourself or those that you are tormenting.

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About Carol Todd

Being the mother of Amanda Todd has lead me on this journey shortly after Amanda's death on October 10, 2012. Amanda's prolific You Tube video has been viewed over 33 million times. Through this video, there has been an increased awareness about cyberbullying, social media safety and mental health. www.amandatoddlegacy.org
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22 Responses to April 24 – What makes a giver? What makes a taker?

  1. merle48 says:

    la Punisher, I LIKE THAT!!!


    • Savetheworld says:

      I wish guys! I tried that I was asked to leave they kept him! You can’t fight the big corps. It’s impossible and they condone this kind of behaviour dad really!


      • la Punisher says:

        To Savetheworld: That is bad, I hope you still hold your job, Hope you didn’t lose because of my tactic’s and if you did, So Sorry, there is always the labor board and you can file a grievance for job harassment. Don’t take anything sitting down, Fight the good fight, let them know when push comes to shove they’ll be the ones hitting the deck, I don’t take any kind of crap from anyone offline or online and 99% of the time I come out the winner and the 1% has made my will to be on top stronger than ever… Go get em, And you can fight the corps. by teaching them respect


      • Savetheworld says:

        Not to worry! This happened quite a while ago. 🙂 thank you though for all your supportive words.


      • la Punisher says:

        To Savetheworld: Welcome and take care


  2. merle48 says:

    To Savetheworld, You brought up a good point about DNA. My three children are all different in that sense, but it’s amazing how my son was always told that he had an “old soul’ because even when he was young, he would blurt out words of wisdom, and he also has a heart of gold…and I saw this in his grandparents and the stories I learned about them…definitely passed down through DNA. No matter what anyone says about Amanda that’s negative, is so unimportant as compared to her humanness, and her whole short life. A person is so complex and cannot be defined by rumors and opinions of people who just want to create more drama. It means NOTHING, against her precious soul! It’s sort of funny to see a celebrity get chance after chance for their mistakes, and people just tend to forget all their mishaps…why…just because they made good movies or music? I will never understand fully the person who must defame others to feel better about themselves, because it feels so good for me to build someone up…not the opposite…how can two opposing methods feel the same, but with totally different consequences?


    • Savetheworld says:

      I feel the same way Merle48 😦 there is enough happiness to go around its not a pool of happiness that gets depleted. I am always happy for other people’s happiness and successes! It dies t taje away from mine. i also say if you don’t have something positive to say keep it to yourself. We should all aim to help and be nice to each other it’s the only way! I’ve seen little kids that are bullies (from toddlers and on – its the child who hits other kids and lashes out, the obes that hurt animals) these are early warning signs it’s so important that these kids get the right help and guidance they need from an early start so they don’t grow up to be grown up bullies. I’ve had to deal with many at work its exhausting and it touches on our basic fear of security! It’s awful when you have no control over these people and their actions it makes you feel helpless this is why technology needs to change so that the onus is on each individual to be thoughtful and kind.


      • la Punisher says:

        To Savetheworld : Bullying at work??.. Get right in their face, I mean 1/2 inch away, and tell them if you keep it up, we will take a different route and I guarentee when I’m finished with you everyone will be pointing fingers and laughing at you behind your back., and say it like you had enough,…Works every time


  3. Savetheworld says:

    I believe that people are born with their characters I believe it’s genetic you could actually check out someones DNA and know many things about them ex. you could go to a specific chromosome and see if a person is a thrill-speaker or shy for example. A thrill seeker has the same DNA code as a shy person but many more repetitions. Thats what makes us all unique. I also believe it could be a chemical imbalance mental disorders, probably coupled with abuse causing worse psychological problems. These people probably dont love or probably dont even like themselves so they lash out at others. I don’t understand how people could be so cruel. i read these horror stories and think who are these people what is wrong with them why are they so mean so angry? They’ve probably been abused or neglected and they want the whole world to pay for it. Perhaps they think they are trying to be cool. I dont know alk i know is that It’s really sad. Amanda and the other were driven fiercely into a depression by these predators they didnt give up on life, they gave up on humankind because some people are not human or kind! 😦

    I know I read some comments out there
    re Amanda that really upset me. It makes me so irate, frustrates me that they are allowed to post such utter garbage, but there are ALWAYS people defending her and calling out these people. I think they enjoy the attention perhaps they never got any attention at home. I just wish I could make it all disappear it should not be allowed. I wonder if these people would still write this stuff if their real names and faces were behind these fake accounts they create and if it IS their real accounts and they’re posting this stuff then its just plain sad!! Bad upbringing? Who knows. Only they can answer these questions. As far as punishment goes I always say an eye for an eye. I know how painful it must be for you to see all this awful stuff don’t let it bother you for a second. We all know the truth. Amanda was a beautiful sweet innocent energetic caring intelligent talented incredible child and that is how she will always be remembered and she has been the catalyst that started this very important anti-bullying movement. She has already saved and will continue to save millions of lives! Her dream to help other kids even adults has started it has been realized. she is our shining star! she will live on forever in our hearts and in our minds. Sending you lots of caring love ❤ Stay strong. Continue her fight. We stand behind you! Xo


  4. Andria says:

    Boa Noite Carol ..hoje eu nen sei o que dizer ,só deixei uma lagrima rolar em meu rosto acho que minha alma entendeu sua mensagen hoje …mas minha mente anda confusa .
    Beijos !!!


    • la Punisher says:

      translation for Andria: Good Night Carol nen .. today I know what you mean, I just let a tear roll down my face I think my soul understood his post today … but my mind goes confused.


  5. Hamsi says:

    Amanda’s story is tragic at so many levels. Here is a news except from today’s abc news:

    “A man who claims to be a former intern for the Romney presidential campaign has been arrested and charged with cyber stalking and internet extortion after he allegedly obtained nude pictures of 15 women illegally and threatened to make them public.”

    Why could the rcmp not have helped out an innocent teenage girl by being more aggressive in their pursuit of the blackmailer?

    It is still very painful for me to contemplate all that the poor girl went through, and now her parents are going through with the mean backlash.

    But Carol, for every mean comment you see, there are a hundred people reaching out to you to offer comfort. Do keep that in mind.


  6. namedallas says:

    I read so much of the hateful things that was said about,and said to Amanda,and it was certanly enough to take the dreams,peace,sence of self,and most of all the will to live away anyone.Anyone that has lived though that certanly wouldn’t deny she fought the fight of her life.Those are certanly good qeustion you had Carol.I have heard so many times poeple say it’s the hard knock of life that makes poeple that way,I personly believe in some cases it’s the lack of hard knocks.Your writing really stuck a nerve this time and you got people thinking. Take care Carol.
    Hey if anyone has any tips on handleing anxiety,please let me know.


  7. merle48 says:

    To Niall, What is the name of that song? It’s on the tip of my tongue? I think I like it a lot.


  8. merle48 says:

    Thank you la Punisher for those words so well=spoken…especially the last line, which goes for my feelings also. To Carol, it appears as one of those stages of grief bubbling to the surface in your writing today, maybe not in the well-known order though. This “expression” from you is chock full of things to ponder…for all of us. I really believe the “kick the dog” actions apply to many. It’s repeated behavior, or maybe how they subconsciously show their hurt, but it all goes back to mental health. How can a person be considered” healthy of mind”who behaves as such? When I look at these children who have been lost to this abuse, I see such beauty and talent in these young people…broken down to little pieces of nothing, by these “takers and stealers” until there is such a void that no one can fill. Their souls are taken from them by these perpertrators here on earth…but that is only temporary as they flourish in a new place and time, and always in their loved ones hearts. There is a beautiful tune sung by James Taylor, “You’ve Got a Friend,” with a line at the end that says, …”people can be so cold, they’ll hurt you, and desert you…they’ll take your soul if you let them…ah, but DON”T YOU LET THEM.” May God always be with you.


  9. la Punisher says:

    Very interesting blog, makes one stop and think and I am not really sure what to think because I am guilty of both giving and taking, We are a product of what we were raised to be from a very early age, Judging from the stories about her, Amanda was a very giving person, and like most young ladies her age just wanting to live a happy exciting life, full of fun, She was indeed a giving person and even to the point of in one final act of desperation she sacrificed herself, (more than likely not realizing the consequences) , But she gave caring back to the world if we use it and change this world to be a better place for our young people, This precious child will always wear a princess crown in my heart


    • Tristan says:

      I really enjoyed reading your comment la Punisher, and i completely agree. We must do all that we can to better our world not only for us , but for our future generations, so they can live in better peace. Always room for improvment on this planet!!!

      I absolutely love this blog, very interesting topics. I believe their is a balance to everything. Talking about the givers and the takers. We have Good and bad, hot and cold, up and down, ect , ect ,, so just the same we have givers and takers. I believe in some ways its just as important to have takers as it is givers , unfortunatly. Only because those that take and do bad,, shows us the true values of the Good. If it wasnt for the bad things that happen on this earth and the people who take, we would never realize the true value in good people or ‘what is good’. I believe this balance is important although i only wish that the “good” would always have the upper hand. It makes life worth living. I think if everything was always absolutely perfect than we wouldnt know how lucky we really are and have anything to compare it with.


  10. Harindu says:

    It was smart of her to upload that video. Wish she was still alive. I hope they’ll catch everyone connected with the whole stalking thing. #proudofyou.


  11. Niall McDade says:

    …..and if I could add to that, Carol, words from a song and a heartfelt message to Amanda….” free at last…they took your life…but they could not take your pride.”


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