Who would think that it would be June 1st already. Time is going by too fast. In 10 days it will be 9 months. How did that many months go by? Summer is upon us soon. Then it will be fall again… I really don’t want to think that far ahead but I know it will come rolling in. I feel for those families that might be experiencing their first weeks, first months, etc. It is so very hard to go on with the thought that you are missing someone so much and that you won’t feel their warmth or see their smile or hear their laughter. I used to groan when Amanda rolled on top of me on the couch when we were lying together. She was always a warm/hot child whereby her brother wasn’t. Amanda was like the electric blanket. In the summer, she would lie on top of me to bug me. In the winter, we would cuddle to warm each other up. That was on top of all the soft fuzzy blankets I bought for us at Costco. Somehow though, they would go missing. Not quite sure where they would go. I think she would go for sleepovers and then ‘forget’ the blankets somewhere. That was my girl!!
Tonight I was at a Voice for the Horse fundraiser. I was invited as a special guest. There was also Cole Armour and Tiffany Desrosiers. Listening to the powerful voices of these two young people was awesome. They sang the new song ‘Stronger’ which emits strength, boldness and brevity. I was honoured to be able to speak at this event and share my thoughts on how the world was being affected by bullying behaviours and what we could do as kids, parents and adults to make it a better world for now and the future. I had 10 minutes but probably had more to say. I will one day have to sit down and write it out from beginning to end. Amanda was bullied. She was in pain. She worked hard to get past it. The kids in her life wouldn’t allow her that freedom. It got to be too much at some points. She often said that she just wanted to feel normal again and she didn’t like the feeling of not being able to be a normal teenager. You do have to feel for that kind of pain. It may not look like pain from the outside but she was feeling it. Imagine when you have to do something you don’t want to do. It might be a fear of spiders, heights, going on stage or even a rollercoaster ride. As the time approaches or you see something you don’t like, you get sweaty and/or clammy. Your stomach starts doing cartwheels and you feel nauseous. You get shaky and light headed. Now imagine feeling that all the time. Amanda felt this way and I am sure there are many kids and adults who also go through that. But … with supports and a great counsellor, she started to feel better. It was only when she was put under stresses again and kids started the name calling again (3 weeks before October 10). If they only knew what that did to her. For me as her mom, to see her start to get better and then to drop again so quickly, it was painful to watch. If only social media/cell phones/texting platforms didn’t exist. Amanda would probably still be her. The barrage of it all was too much.
Someone commented on last nights blog the following and I replied. It is so true. I wonder when and if it will happen.
I posted this on my Facebook today. “The video is graphic of sorts. You need to make a conscious decision to watch or not watch. I do believe the topic(s) in the film are important and need to be covered but I don’t believe the endings (such as this one) need to be as visually displayed. For me personally, we need to share with youth that there are ways out of depression.” Comments are welcome.
Another day tomorrow. There is a radio show I am going on ‘The Roy Green Show’. 11:05 (PST) in Vancouver. It will be about bullying and what we can do to counteract it. Listen if you have the time. Another mom will also be on with me after the first 30 minutes.
Time for CC. I am still on Level 65.
Hugz to everyone and especially to PS. Felt her presence tonight holding me up. Funny coincidence was that Tiffany sang the song ‘Don’t Worry Child’ at the event and she wouldn’t have known about the connection between that song and Amanda and our family.