June 10th – 8 months since October 10 (for Amanda)

Dear Amanda …

I have missed you so much!!  It’s been 8 months since you’ve been gone.  I erred today and said it was 9 months.  I think that I just don’t want to count the months anymore.  You are not here.  It seems like only yesterday but on the other hand, the seasons have passed.  Fall, winter, spring and now we are heading into summer.  With the sunny weather, it seems the hardest for me.  Only because you perked up when it was  sunny and bright.  You wore your bright coloured clothes or barely any clothes which would lead me to holler at you to go back to your room and ‘put more clothes on’.  Lord knows what you did when you walked down the street.   Just like all the other girls.  However, I was always happy when you came home from school looking the same.  Regardless of the weather, you always had mismatched socks on.  You wouldn’t let me buy you all the same pairs.  You enjoyed wearing your neon and striped socks.  Just not matched in pairs. Does that go with the ways of not having to match them when you do the laundry?  Come to think of it, I wear mismatched socks too.  They are all white but the words are all coloured.  It’s whatever comes out out of the drawers.  The warm weather also brought out your bright neon colours and when you got tired of your stuff, you went in search of my closet and drawers.  🙂

Today was ‘Bikes Against Bullies’.  Sophia and her sister planned it.  I was amazed at the motorbikes that were there.  They were all parked in a row, all shiny.  Some of them had purple on them.  Our fav colours.  There was also a ‘Make a Noise’ moment when all the bikers turn on their bikes and rev their engines.  Loud but awesomely cool.  Too think they were all doing it in your memory Amanda.   I have it on videotape on my phone and will put it into my computer to post.  There were speeches, singing, face painting, entertainment, hot dogs, photo booths and lots of happy and sad faces.  I heard stories today that broke my heart.  But I also heard wonderful stories of the difference you have made in the lives of other kids and families.  There was a dad with a 13 year old that says that after you left us, his child opened up to him and talked and talked.  They now share everything and his child is no longer sad and feels better.  Princess Snowflake, you opened the world to them.  I met grandmothers too who wanted to say hi.  How is it that you have touched the lives of so many?  You never would have guessed.

Global News – Anti Bullying rally remembers Amanda Todd – http://globalnews.ca/news/626943/anti-bullying-rally-remembers-amanda-todd/

Breakfast TV in the morning too.

IMG_2073         IMG_2074

I received many hugs and met many new people.  Some who will become lifelong friends.  One of the best moments of today was when Laura, Kayla and Kayla’s daughter took a picture together.  That is 3 generations.  We had those plans too but something or someone took that opportunity away from us.  So for now and the future, I will have to rely on others to share their moments of having a daughter and sharing the moments.  It will never be the same or as wonderful as it would have been with you, but I will take what I can get.  It’s actually those thoughts that get me the most upset and sometimes angry.

IMG_2078         IMG_2081

Oh and .. did you make it rain today?  While it was dry up at home, it was pouring in downtown PoCo.   Funny enough, it didn’t deter the motorbike riders from coming.  But at 2 pm when the rally finished, the sun came out shining bright and warm.   I told the story of your snowflake which will go on forever in the minds of many.

Today is purple balloon day for you.  I know that it isn’t great for the environment and that we have to think of something as creative.  Maybe messages in bottles.  Or a book like Flat Stanley – we make it Amanda Todd Legacy and pass it around.  You would love all the creative artwork that is being done with your pics.  There are so many out there working on it.

Along with all the good things happening, there are crappy things happening.  Social media networks are still posting pictures and kids are still falling into the web of the internet.  You aren’t the first person this happened to and you certainly won’t be the last.  The friends who care about you continue to post stories.  It is nice to see that you are remembered and cared for by your friends. Even those that never knew you.

Cyberbullying and logging outhttp://www.stuff.co.nz/waikato-times/opinion/8777146/Don-t-tell-cyberbullying-victims-to-log-out-ask-if-they-need-help

Amanda, your spunk, your laughter and those twinkling eyes are what is missed.  I remember having to put cat bells on your shoes when you were a toddler so that we could figure out in advance which direction you were walking and where in the house you were.  I still have those shoes downstairs in my Amanda boxes.  Along with your Christmas dresses which were also special when you were litte.  Black velvet.  Red velvet.  Lace and bows.   (Uh oh … tear reaction now.)

Book signing event tomorrow with a book dedicated to you … Snowflake Princess – Emily Isaacson – Maple Ridge News – http://www.mapleridgenews.com/entertainment/210169301.html

Sleep well PS… love you … xoxo

sleeping angel 2

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About Carol Todd

Being the mother of Amanda Todd has lead me on this journey shortly after Amanda's death on October 10, 2012. Amanda's prolific You Tube video has been viewed over 33 million times. Through this video, there has been an increased awareness about cyberbullying, social media safety and mental health. www.amandatoddlegacy.org
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21 Responses to June 10th – 8 months since October 10 (for Amanda)

  1. Andria Drica says:

    Good Night!
    I wish everyone a great week, loved the message was very strong today Carol Amanda is being well cared for .. I’m sure that one day estaram mother and daughter together again for eternity.

    Like

  2. namedallas says:

    Nice memories Carol ! I haven’t been able to get on here much do to my computer being down again, but I am still trying to keep up with the reading though .

    Like

  3. Tristan says:

    Can you ever feel the emotions while reading along with these words in this blog. Also such beautiful words from merle and savetheworld. Such a wonderful picture of her,, so beautiful but yet so sad.Its a sadness that should have never been known. As i look at her picture here, it reminds me of my little fella sleeping in his bed, and knowing that what has happened to Amanda, can happen to anyone’s child,, and that, this is not what life was intended to be or happen. I love the story of the dad and the 13 year old ,, truly shows how much she is making a difference around the world. Imagine all of the ones that you dont know about and how Amanda’s story had touched them made a positive difference in their lives. Looks like it was a pretty good day!

    Like

  4. Renée B. says:

    I think it is a natural reflex to count the days, weeks, months… Maybe in some ways, it creates a kind of connection. This picture of Amanda as a toddler is so appealing!
    Today, June 10, I am wearing pink and I have snowflakes in my living room window. I had put them up before Christmas but I decided to keep them there in memory of Amanda.

    I read an article about Raffi Cavoukian’s book Lightweb, Darkweb where it says that his book is dedicated to Amanda. I will certainly go and buy it along with Princess Snowflakes.

    Like

  5. jag72 says:

    Sleep in peace Amanda.
    Many “knight” monitoring compliance of your memory

    Like

  6. la Punisher says:

    A Very touching post and a very beautiful picture of your child, may she forever sleep peacefully in the arms of Love. This child shall never be forgotten
    Sending you, Peace, Love, joy and many, many hugz your way,
    Today will be releasing a purple balloon in her memory, RIP Sweet Angel…

    Hugz 2u

    Like

  7. Pam says:

    What a beautiful picture of Amanda sleeping so peacefully….
    Breaks my heart though… Hugs to you carol… We miss seeing you around the pool….

    Like

  8. DeeJay BeWy says:

    Carol thank you for writing to Amanda. I know she heard your words just like we all have. Thank you for showing everyone that Amanda was not just a name but she was a person and not just any person but a very special person to you. There will be someone out here who reads what you have written from your heart and it will help them through their own tough times. Thank you.

    Like

  9. merle48 says:

    Carol, it amazes me how similar my daughter is with Amanda as I’ve told you before. Socks=mismatched only! Maybe it’s a new trend to have socks that don’t match! There is so much going on in Amanda’s memory, and because of you, it WILL continue. This world will always harbor people that do the unthinkable evil, and cross the line, and there will always be people who absorb all the BS and move on to do the right things that need that need to be done. That is you, Carol. Never allow the insignificant BS to overtake all the good you’ve done/do! I honor your daughter’s legacy everyday…purple or not, 10th of the month, or 31st…forever in my thoughts and my heart!

    Like

  10. Savetheworld says:

    Amanda you wanted to be a rock star well guess what our beautiful child you have definitely rocked the world! The world misses your spunk and your beautiful smile and spirit! Your life may have been cut short but you must have been a chosen one. ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Hamsi says:

    I love all the people who come out to remember Amanda in special ways. Yes, the 10th of every month is a time for poignancy and reflection. Our support is always with you, Carol!

    Like

  12. H.I.D. says:

    You are thought of Every Single Day Amanda.
    Beautiful, Precious, Innocent Child.
    Forever Loved.
    Forever And Forever.
    Beautiful Princess Snowflake
    Heart Of Gold.

    Like

  13. Savetheworld says:

    This post has touched me so very much! i feel your pain !!!! and seeing the picture of your little innocent angel is so very difficult and so upsetting I’m irate i can only inagine what you are feeling. I still cannot phathom how deep evil runs in our society today. Why would anyone try to destroy another person? i just dont get it! We all want to see justice served! We all want to see changes made! I will work towards this end until my dying day I promise you this and I am here for you Carol!! I support you 100%! You may have lost one child but you have gained millions!! The world has formed a line behind you! Stay focused and stay strong! Xoxo love and hugz

    Like

  14. Sue Hindle says:

    It was a beautiful day .. even with the liquid sunshine Glad I was there..

    Like

  15. Gemma says:

    I’ll be wearing pink to school tomorrow

    Like

  16. alyssalmoore says:

    Reblogged this on Alyssa L. Moore and commented:
    Such a wonderful mom. :’) ❤

    Like

  17. alyssalmoore says:

    I’m so sure she’s proud that her message is sent ALL AROUND THE GLOBE! ❤ (: You have been a wonderful mom, and if I was in the same situation as Amanda, I'd want my mom to do the same as you. (: I will continue to spread her story and support anti-bully campaigns. Best wishes from Louisiana, USA! ❤

    Like

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