Dear Amanda …
I have missed you so much!! It’s been 8 months since you’ve been gone. I erred today and said it was 9 months. I think that I just don’t want to count the months anymore. You are not here. It seems like only yesterday but on the other hand, the seasons have passed. Fall, winter, spring and now we are heading into summer. With the sunny weather, it seems the hardest for me. Only because you perked up when it was sunny and bright. You wore your bright coloured clothes or barely any clothes which would lead me to holler at you to go back to your room and ‘put more clothes on’. Lord knows what you did when you walked down the street. Just like all the other girls. However, I was always happy when you came home from school looking the same. Regardless of the weather, you always had mismatched socks on. You wouldn’t let me buy you all the same pairs. You enjoyed wearing your neon and striped socks. Just not matched in pairs. Does that go with the ways of not having to match them when you do the laundry? Come to think of it, I wear mismatched socks too. They are all white but the words are all coloured. It’s whatever comes out out of the drawers. The warm weather also brought out your bright neon colours and when you got tired of your stuff, you went in search of my closet and drawers. 🙂
Today was ‘Bikes Against Bullies’. Sophia and her sister planned it. I was amazed at the motorbikes that were there. They were all parked in a row, all shiny. Some of them had purple on them. Our fav colours. There was also a ‘Make a Noise’ moment when all the bikers turn on their bikes and rev their engines. Loud but awesomely cool. Too think they were all doing it in your memory Amanda. I have it on videotape on my phone and will put it into my computer to post. There were speeches, singing, face painting, entertainment, hot dogs, photo booths and lots of happy and sad faces. I heard stories today that broke my heart. But I also heard wonderful stories of the difference you have made in the lives of other kids and families. There was a dad with a 13 year old that says that after you left us, his child opened up to him and talked and talked. They now share everything and his child is no longer sad and feels better. Princess Snowflake, you opened the world to them. I met grandmothers too who wanted to say hi. How is it that you have touched the lives of so many? You never would have guessed.
Global News – Anti Bullying rally remembers Amanda Todd – http://globalnews.ca/news/626943/anti-bullying-rally-remembers-amanda-todd/
Breakfast TV in the morning too.
I received many hugs and met many new people. Some who will become lifelong friends. One of the best moments of today was when Laura, Kayla and Kayla’s daughter took a picture together. That is 3 generations. We had those plans too but something or someone took that opportunity away from us. So for now and the future, I will have to rely on others to share their moments of having a daughter and sharing the moments. It will never be the same or as wonderful as it would have been with you, but I will take what I can get. It’s actually those thoughts that get me the most upset and sometimes angry.
Oh and .. did you make it rain today? While it was dry up at home, it was pouring in downtown PoCo. Funny enough, it didn’t deter the motorbike riders from coming. But at 2 pm when the rally finished, the sun came out shining bright and warm. I told the story of your snowflake which will go on forever in the minds of many.
Today is purple balloon day for you. I know that it isn’t great for the environment and that we have to think of something as creative. Maybe messages in bottles. Or a book like Flat Stanley – we make it Amanda Todd Legacy and pass it around. You would love all the creative artwork that is being done with your pics. There are so many out there working on it.
Along with all the good things happening, there are crappy things happening. Social media networks are still posting pictures and kids are still falling into the web of the internet. You aren’t the first person this happened to and you certainly won’t be the last. The friends who care about you continue to post stories. It is nice to see that you are remembered and cared for by your friends. Even those that never knew you.
Cyberbullying and logging out – http://www.stuff.co.nz/waikato-times/opinion/8777146/Don-t-tell-cyberbullying-victims-to-log-out-ask-if-they-need-help
Amanda, your spunk, your laughter and those twinkling eyes are what is missed. I remember having to put cat bells on your shoes when you were a toddler so that we could figure out in advance which direction you were walking and where in the house you were. I still have those shoes downstairs in my Amanda boxes. Along with your Christmas dresses which were also special when you were litte. Black velvet. Red velvet. Lace and bows. (Uh oh … tear reaction now.)
Book signing event tomorrow with a book dedicated to you … Snowflake Princess – Emily Isaacson – Maple Ridge News – http://www.mapleridgenews.com/entertainment/210169301.html
Sleep well PS… love you … xoxo