July 17 – The hardest thing ….

I finally got up enough energy, courage and strength.  I have finally opened the door to Amanda’s room!!!  I would say that from October 10th to present, I have only entered her room 4 times.  All 4 times I cried.  I am not sure what allowed me to do it except that a voice inside me told me it was time.  Her room is alive with her favourite stuffies.  🙂    Many of you may be wondering or thinking … I wonder what the room looks like.  When it is time, I will add a picture.  Right now, it’s not time yet.

To Michael Bell .. thank you for sharing your words today.  Pink, #10, Amanda.  You are the greatest …

To the Keefe family .. Hang in there and Stay Strong!!  We are all with you and will help as much as we can.  The Amanda Snowflake Army is yours for the asking.

To everyone else .. Thanks for being there for me through all my moods and sleepness nights.

Last night was a 4 a.m. morning/night, it’s off to bed.

Hugz … xoxo

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About Carol Todd

Being the mother of Amanda Todd has lead me on this journey shortly after Amanda's death on October 10, 2012. Amanda's prolific You Tube video has been viewed over 33 million times. Through this video, there has been an increased awareness about cyberbullying, social media safety and mental health. www.amandatoddlegacy.org
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9 Responses to July 17 – The hardest thing ….

  1. Renée B. says:

    Working up the courage to enter Amanda’s room must have been very difficult, however, I can’t help but imagine that keeping her door closed must have been difficult also. I think that entering her room must give you a deeper sense of her presence, of her essence.

    Carol, I hope that when you share with us a picture of her room, you will also show us the memory blanket. I am really looking forward to see that!

    I think about Amanda and your family every day. I also hope that all the culprits will be found and that they will get their comeuppance.


  2. Savetheworld says:

    I am so sorry that you have been put in this position Carol. I cannot even fathom the pain you have been left to deal with. I pray for you everyday. I also pray that justice is served and the culprits are found. Shame on these pathetic low-lives that feel the need to destroy and damage other people’s lives for what, their own amusement? How sick. God is watching. Sending you healing love always! ❤


  3. Niall McDade says:

    I wouldn’t know if the pain of entering Amandas room will ever go away. I can only hope for you that with the passage of time, it will get a little bit easier and being in her room will give you some kind of connection to Amanda and bring you some kind of comfort. ❤


  4. Sue Hindle says:

    Sending you hugs and my continued support


  5. merle48 says:

    Carol, I think this quote is beautiful, and I hope it has meaning for you, as there is not much else I want to say as I ponder the difficulty in entering Amanda’s room.

    “As long as I can I will look at this world for both of us. As long as I can I will laugh with the birds, I will sing with the flowers, I will pray to the stars, for both of us.” ~Sascha, as posted on motivateus.com


  6. Hamsi says:

    Here is wishing you strength and courage to go through this day and all the coming days……….


  7. H.I.D. says:

    I can feel the pain in your written words.
    Forever Loved. Always, Forever And Forever.
    Give Us Strength.
    Beautiful Precious Innoncent Child.
    You Will Always Be Remembered Amanda !!!
    Beautiful Bench Your Mom Did.


  8. Dennis v says:

    I can’t imagine how hard it must be to open her room.. big hugs to you Carol, take care, goodnight.


  9. la Punisher says:

    Opening the door to Amanda’s room would be a very hard thing to do, ( and It is OK to cry )
    Doing that shows that you are ‘getting stronger’ And I for one
    will continue to be here to help support you in every way I can.

    Hugz 2U


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