July 23 – Snowflake Angels

I was just on Angel Rehtaeh’s Facebook page and read one of the posts there. I felt saddened by what I read and how individuals can condemn so quickly for a life they know nothing about. The saying of ‘walk a mile in the shoes of’ goes a long way. It is sad how people are so quick to judge without knowing.

Both of these beautiful girls (as well as other young youth) took their lives due to exploitation, bullying, cyberbullying which turned to mental health related illnesses which eventually became too much for the girls to overcome. They were way too young and had so much to live for.  Us as parents wanted to see our beautiful girls grow up, graduate with their prom dresses, date, get married, have our grandchildren.  Now that won’t happen.  Because of the callousness of some other person or persons.

We keep being told – ‘Be patient’ – ‘Justice will be served’ – ‘We are still investigating’ …..  How much patience should we have?  It’s like the game of SORRY at the end.   You roll the dice and have to get the exact number to win.  But if you roll more than the number of spaces left, you go forward and then move backwards.  That’s how it feels in this new life of ‘normal’.  We move forward only to move back again.  Back and forth.  Our emotions swaying.

I look outside and see a full moon.  As I was on and off Facebook today and the last few, I have seen some direct messages and posts from moms/dads whose children have taken their own lives due to situations of bullying/cyberbulling and mental health conditions.  These parents (like myself) struggle with the day to day.  It feels like it is getting better.  We know we have to move forward.  But then the bricks hit again like a barrage of ping pong balls.  The memories.  The flashbacks.  The tears.  Unless one has lived this part, it is hard to imagine and understand.  It is so much easier to share, talk and message those we know who have been through and are going through the same emotions.

We encourage each other.  We listen to each other.  We try to pick each other up, brush off the dust and say ‘Here you go’.  Much like what we did with our kids when they fell.  KISS THE OWIES AWAY!!!

Amanda used to say that to me last summer.  Why can’t there be a group of kids around here that have the same problems as me that I can talk with?  Now that was a good questions.  I still don’t know the answer.  I have asked about this.  As parents, did we need to go find and make the group ourselves?  As much as Amanda was able to talk to her counsellor/clinician about her depression/anxieties, she wanted to talk to other teens.  As one reads the posts on sites like Amanda Todd Official – Facebook, you may see the same thing.  Teens and adults eaching out and talking to each other.

Unfortunately, there are those that are uncaring and selfless and selfish, that are quick to judge the parents of Amanda and Rehtaeh because of things our children might have done.   To those who judge, we only hope that you are not the ones who pushed our girls to the edge of hopelessness?   That you weren’t the ones that continued to make fun of them each day?  That you weren’t  living the days and nights where our girls felt like their bedrooms were the only places they could go to be safe in?  These rooms that were their safe havens also became their prison cell which they had troubles coming out of to face the world of judgemental people.

For as many as there are trolls and hurtful people, there are more that work so hard to want to make it better and more right. They are helping for themselves, for other kids, for young adults and for the older adults.

Social media can be a good thing. Like everything else, it needs some policing. Hopefully, the amount of that will eventually decrease. Staying informed on what the David Cameron, Prime Minister U.K. has to say about social media networks has been very interesting.

For all the people who continue to be hurtful — WRITE A JOURNAL ENTRY AND SAY IT TO YOURSELF!!!


About Carol Todd

Being the mother of Amanda Todd has lead me on this journey shortly after Amanda's death on October 10, 2012. Amanda's prolific You Tube video has been viewed over 33 million times. Through this video, there has been an increased awareness about cyberbullying, social media safety and mental health. www.amandatoddlegacy.org
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7 Responses to July 23 – Snowflake Angels

  1. Renée B. says:

    There will always be people who lack all the qualities of a human being, who have no empathy, who will say all kinds of irresponsible comments… It is sometimes hard to ignore these comments even if we would like to.

    Amanda and Retaeh, and all the others, did deserve to live their lives free of worry and harassment. What happened to them is so unfair, there is no word to describe it. These young girls did not do anything that would justify a bullying and harassment campaign.

    It seems to me that the law is dragging its feet, it should not be that difficult to find the people behind this and bring them to justice.


  2. jag72 says:

    J’aimerai vraiment que l’instigateur de la dépression de Amanda soit puni .


  3. la Punisher says:

    merle48, Savetheworld, Hamsi, Agreeing with all three of you, You put it together nicely, merle48 quote: if someone at the “top” had this happen to them, the ball would be rolling as fast as a jet to find out who, and why, and to also implement protective legislation…. You hit that 1005% on the head, truer words were never spoken…
    As for the uncaring selfish and liars… What goes round comes around
    i once read years ago that ” hell is so full its spilling over on to the earth ” It’s no longer hard to believe that quote when you look around and really have a look at whats happening in the world today…
    Carol, Very good post, But also very sad
    Hugz 2U


  4. Hamsi says:

    I agree with both the writers above. Yes, many people have learnt valuable lessons over this past year, I have no doubt that many lives have been saved as consequence. And yes, some of the venom that is directed at Amanda and others is because of a perverted feeling of jealousy….their way of lashing out at their “fame” while they (the trolls) wallow in lonely anonymity! Keep focussing on the good that is happening due to yours’ and others’ efforts, Carol!


  5. Savetheworld says:

    Carol what you need to realize is that these people who write awful stuff are actually writing this stuff about themselves. It has nothing to do with Amanda and Rehtaeh etc. it’s called transference they actually hate themselves hate their own situation and circumstance and lash out at others! They go after the bright stars that shine like Amanda. The Internet has made it so easy. I blame google facebook all these applications. They did not put in ANY safeguards. They are full of porn! Shane on them. Rules laws need to be enforced their I’d no other way lets rally!!!! I’m in!!!


  6. merle48 says:

    What a perfect metaphor is the game “Sorry” for what many of you who have endured as you try to get answers, yet there appear to be none so far. You are right about people who haven’t experienced this living hell cannot truly imagine the depths of despair, longing and sadness that you all must feel. I’ll wager that if someone at the “top” had this happen to them, the ball would be rolling as fast as a jet to find out who, and why, and to also implement protective legislation. Unfortunately and fortunately… you must continue to garner support and keep forging ahead. Many people, adults and kids have learned many valuable lessons this past year because of you and others who have selflessly brought these issues to light despite your own tribulations. These issues are addressed now more than ever in many communities around the globe, awareness has amplified tenfold.


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