August 10 – 10 months too long …. feeling sad all day …

Dear Amanda

A busy day with lots of weird things  happening.  I will fill you in later tonight.  🙂

Love Mom

Dear Amanda

I cannot believe the affect that you have had on people.  Complete strangers even.  And they aren’t all from the area where we live, they are all around the world.  As far as Austria, Germany and even France.  These people truly care about you and what your message is to the world.  Surprisingly enough, they care about me also (and your brother and dad).  It’s amazing that your life and then your death is having a profound impact on the world.  However, I must say that with all the positives in the world, there are also the negative nellies and the ‘haters’ as you call them.  The haters certainly spread misery.  There was another death in the U.K. over a week ago.  Her name was Hannah and she was 14.  She was tormented on Ask.fm.  I think you had mentioned that site to me but you didn’t use it.  Your group of friends were on Formspring instead which is very similar.   And Ask.fm wasn’t really popular up here in Canada until recently.

Well, it has gotten lots of bad press.

There was an article today that said that Hannah sent hate notes to herself – http://www.thesundaytimes.co.uk/sto/news/uk_news/Tech/article1298958.ece?CMP=OTH-gnws-standard-2013_08_10.  

Then there was another article where the mother of the founders of Ask.fm defended her sons about the website, but the mother didn’t know anything about how the website functioned.  Now if that isn’t slightly hypocritical.  http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2388980/Ask-fm-Mother-Latvian-tycoons-founded-website-centre-suicide-row-makes-shocking-attack.html

Screen Shot 2013-08-11 at 2.01.28 AM

All this news just makes my head spin.  So many different things to tackle right now.  Once again, the way a human brain works is astonishing.  I was at a wedding/anniversary party tonight.  Met some new people who will ultimately become new friends.  It was a couple.  I will call them Jill and John.  Jill and I talked.  She had on one of your pink bracelets.  She must have gotten it a while ago because it was a bit faded.  I gave her a new one.  I introduced myself to her husband by just my first name.  It didn’t register with him that I was your mom…. until later.  I am sure someone told him.  Then he came up to me and asked for a ‘hug’.  He had no words to say except that he was sorry and to thank me for keeping your memory and message going.  Amanda, this is what I mean when I say, you have made impact.   When I get asked why I do what I do, I have one answer – “I will always be Amanda’s mom so will always do what I have to for my kids” – which ultimately benefits all kids and families.

Two more sleeps until Toronto.  That will be another interesting adventure.  You would have liked meeting ‘Alex’ and you should be here to travel with us.

Stupid girl!!  (I am allowed to call you that.)

Amanda, it’s all well wishers on my Facebook who help cheer me up.  This is the post that stood out for me the most today and made me cry the most.  You meant alot to Pam and we almost had you reaching out to her as another adult to talk to.   I love that Pam has these memories of you on video.  I have hours and hours which I need to get onto a DVD from VHS since you were a baby onwards.

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P.S. Did you know that Mandy likes to sleep on the couch with your stuffies?

Love and hugs to my Princess Snowflake forever xoxo

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About Carol Todd

Being the mother of Amanda Todd has lead me on this journey shortly after Amanda's death on October 10, 2012. Amanda's prolific You Tube video has been viewed over 33 million times. Through this video, there has been an increased awareness about cyberbullying, social media safety and mental health. www.amandatoddlegacy.org
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10 Responses to August 10 – 10 months too long …. feeling sad all day …

  1. Nils Kohlmey says:

    I get to know about the story with Amanda on saturday via german television and i can’t stop thinking about that. I never get her to know, but somehow it hurts very much. I’ve read a lot of things in the Internet and i have to say: It doesn’t matter what she did, cause she was a little child and children are naive. Nobody has the right to judge about her. Her heart was to weak for this cold cold world. I don’t get it how children/people can drive a little child into death… I am feeling so sorry for you and i wish you all the best for the future carol.

    I don’t know you and you don’t know me, but i wish i could give you a hug for real.

    “May the wind always be at your back and the sun upon your face.
    And may the wings of destiny carry you aloft to dance with the stars.”

    Stay strong! Nils

    Like

  2. H.I.D. says:

    To DJ Be Wy,
    What you wrote out does make sense. I must have stayed awake too long to beleive
    what I was reading. It seems that I am always awake.
    But at the time, even just the thought of it, that Hannah would do that…….. because after a while
    of being told hateful things…….. the person Starts To Beleive It. When I read that article,
    I was sick, and it changed me Forever.. Again.
    I felt as if they convinced her to Hate Herself, and type out Hate messages to herself.

    Like

  3. Gemma says:

    People in Asia, Australia, New Zealand know about Amanda. She’ll never be forgotten xx

    Like

  4. I don’t believe Hannah sent those messages to herself. Hackers can and will steal your IP address or use software to hack your computer and post online. If Hannah had received and opened an email with the malicious software, that could have been why her IP, if it was her IP, is being shown as where the messages come from. Other software which can be easily used on a person’s computer if they click a malicious email, is control of your webcam. Even if you are not using your webcam it can be remotely controlled by the hacker and record you as well. I keep a close eye on my web cam and watch to see if it does anything strange like go on and off. I am sure someone who is familiar with how hacking works can also explain how Hannah’s IP ended up on Ask.fm. Thanks Carol and have a nice cup of tea today and just enjoy the rain.

    Like

  5. merle48 says:

    I love those pictures…so beautiful, as your daughter was! Positivity, love, compassion, and understanding will ALWAYS win over negativity, hatred, indifference, and intolerance. AL.WAYS. Amanda is pure “love and light” now…she gets it…wish we all did.

    Like

  6. la Punisher says:

    Never To be Forgotten, Forever Loved, Forever in Our Hearts…. RIP Babygirl

    Hugz 2U Carol

    Like

  7. H.I.D. says:

    Practically the Whole World Loves You Amanda.
    Forever Loved. Forever And Forever.
    About Hannah….. O.M.G……. did they Destroy her So Deeply that she sent hate messages
    to herself? Oh My God. Someone please Tell me Differently.

    Like

  8. Will Burke says:

    Yes Amanda mom needs a break ❤

    Like

  9. jag72 says:

    Amanda, yours mom needs to rest

    Like

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