Before I got to Nova Scotia, I was told that no one should visit and then leave Nova Scotia without going to see Peggy’s Cove. So Leah and her most wonderful friend (M) picked me up at my hotel for our journey to see the waters of Nova Scotia. The first thing Leah asked was if I had brought hats and gloves. Umm.. that would be negative. I’m from BC, didn’t expect it to be that cold (again). And it just wasn’t ordinary cold — it was DARN VERY COLD. At first it seemed ok but then when you stood for along time outside, the fingers just start to tingle a wee bit.
But it was all worth it, the scenic view looked exactly like the calendars you see. Words to describe what I saw would be – breathtaking – picturesque – calm – serene – beautiful. The winds were strong around the Peggy Cove area. It was SO COLD. There were two fellows out by the lighthouse. One was taking photos and the other was waiting. I swear, if you were a lightweight kind of person, the wind could carry you to the edge of those rocks. It was SO COLD. There are warning signs on the lighthouse to be careful of slipping and ultimately falling into the waters. It was SO COLD. I was told that there have been many a lost person as they slipped from the rocks where there could or could not be ice present. It was SO COLD. Leah’s friend went walking beyond the lighthouse on the rocks. She said the wind was really strong. I certainly wouldn’t want to have a small child who was lightweight (and active and adventurous) wandering around there without being attached to me in some way. It made me think of Amanda and how she would have been. I think the cold would have gotten to her first but if the coldness wasn’t there, she would be exploring to the edge. Remembering that she was the one that I had to put cat bells on here shoes so I could tell when she was in motion.From the photos, you can see the homes that live on the land.
We also visited the where the Swiss Air Flight 111 tragedy took place. (click here for story)
The best part of this days adventure was being able to spend some time Leah (and her bestie of friends) in a relaxed environment without alot of other people around like there usually in. We were in her home territory and we were just moms talking about our kids. Yes we talked about both the lives and deaths of our daughters. About how similar characteristics of both girls. Their likes and interests. And what they hated most in life. That would be people judging them.
Leah and I also pondered the thoughts about what gave people the rights to judge us as moms in how we raised our daughters and what we are doing now in memory of them. We also pondered about the bureaucratic system of what happened to Amanda and Rehtaeh as we knew as parents, that they would need much help to get better. Did they ever get enough? Which doors of the system were open or closed? And are the doors open or closed now? What changes have taken place? And are they working?
We talked about what made us continue our abilities to talk to others about the message. What the messages were? Who was listening to them? Why they were important? The compared PTSD’s? (I never thought in a million years that I would ever have to do that with someone else.) How we look fine on the outside but how no one had a right to determine how we felt on the inside but ourselves. Why is SUICIDE is a forbidden and scared word? What needs to be done to make mental health become more normalized discussion?
Most importantly, we talked about how similar the paths towards this journey had been and how similar they still are.
Today was special and it will be screen captured in my brain forever. Leah is yet another person outside of my safe zone who I could relate to and call a wonderful person and friend. (As is her best friend M.) Having someone to talk to about Amanda (in all aspects) in a way that can be understood is special. I have met other parents that have not yet experienced this but I will endeavour to connect them up. Because death by self is something that many are uncomfortable talking about, it is important that surviving parents are able to talk to others who can understand, care and then support one another.
FYI – I have more wonderful people to write about and will do so in the coming weeks. I had also had a good time talking with Pam Murchison whose daughter Jenna Bowers-Bryanton took her life just over 3 years ago in Nova Scotia.
P.S. ~ I just heard that the Maritimes is in for a major blizzard storm starting Wednesday. Glad that I am home in rainy, blustery BC.