Short but sweet. Today is the 10th (again). It’s been 21 months. It sometimes feels like a throwback when you were once asked the age of your baby/toddler. Now in a different scenario, I am counting the months. Only the pride and joy isn’t there this time around.
Tonight I will light my candle and reflect on the 20 months before today. What happened? Why it happened? What has happened since? My therapist says that you can’t dwell on the past. You can’t think about the what ifs. But how do you stop them. And will we ever not think about them. I think not.
Because unfortunately … they are part of the memories that the children we lost have left behind. And mainly, for their parents and family to bear. I cannot speak for what is in the head of others but I know what is in mine.
The many hundreds of people I have met via social media and at my presentations are so numerous. The one thing in common is that they all have a passion. And that passion is to help kids. It might be solely for bullying or cyberabuse or mental health. It might be all of the above. It really doesn’t matter as the common denominator is always kids. And the definition of ‘KID’ is loose as the definition is left up to the individual. You might be 79 years old and have kids. They are still someones kids.
Where has the 21 months gone? Scroll back on the Snowflake blog. Or the Tumblr. Or the website. Or the Facebook. Google Amanda’s name. Google my name. I recently went back to do that on the internet and was amazed what I didn’t remember or what I didn’t see.
I miss my kid so deeply. I wish I could change the history as does everyone else for Amanda and every other person we have lost to the issues of society. I think I once said I like Winter months better. I don’t have to be out seeing young girls enjoying life ~ dating ~ at the river ~ planning their futures. I am so very happy for them but at the same time …..
But in Amanda’s words, we must STAY STRONG and also BE STRONG. We have way too much work ahead to make the changes that are needed for our future generations.
xoxo Miss you PSnowflake.