For the first time in a long time, I have to say ‘I Just Can’t’. In the past 2 years 8 1/2 months, I have stretched myself and have rarely said ‘NO’ to anything. But right now I have to.
I have spent the last few months avoiding the Facebook pages of kids getting ready for prom and grad dances. The shopping. The commencement graduation ceremonies. The college applications. As a parent of Amanda, I miss doing those things with her. I know what it is like because I went through the same motions with her brother. I will miss the commencement ceremony of Rob’s son this coming week because ‘I Just Can’t’.
** I can’t because it would make me too sad. ** I can’t because it would make me miss Amanda even more. ** I just can’t because I have worked so hard in working through some of the pain and grief and I don’t want it to backwards. ** I just can’t because it will be one of the most happiest days for most and I don’t want anyone to get affected by my personal sadness. ** I just can’t because ….
I remember Amanda trying this dress on and showing me the selfie pic. She said to me: Mom, this is the kind of dress I want for my graduation dance. This photo was taken in September of 2012. It’s purple too.
Miss you my lovely girl child. xoxo