Merry Christmas!! I thought of you (as I do a million times a day) this morning when I woke up. Thinking about how this is the 5th Christmas without you waking me up early asking if we can open presents. It continues to make me sad but as usual, I need to think about the presence you still have in this world. There are hundreds (maybe thousands) of people out there who also have thought of you on this day.
I pondered about writing a Dear Amanda letter but here I am writing it. It may start to sound like the others I have written to you but I don’t think it really matters. I just want you to know that you are never forgotten. We have all made sure of that. 2016 has been enormous in getting the message of what happened to you out there to people all over the world. And much to my amazement, it is still happening. I think that in 2017, it will still keep going. Starting with the trial of the idiot person who decided to ‘befriend’ you on the internet. Many people judge both you and me for what happened. That is in the past. The goal is to make sure it doesn’t happen again as you clearly stated in the last few months of your life.
Christmas and any other memorable holiday, event, song, etc is hard on all of us. There are many in the world that don’t ‘get it’ but they don’t need to. The ones that do are the closest to me and you would agree that those are the ones to stick to (like the bubblegum that you would not know how to get rid of after you finished chewing it).
Your favourite ornaments are on the tree. We will have turkey tonight and think of you when you always wondered why you couldn’t have all the gravy for your mashed potatoes. The snowflake cookies were baked and eaten and I made more this morning. Remember when … we had to have the cookies and milk for Santa. And the carrots cut up small for the reindeer. I didn’t do that this year but I thought about it. Your brother and I managed to keep the secret of Santa from you until you were 9 years old. But then again – mom and dad told you that when you stopped believing in Santa, he wouldn’t leave a present for you and your brother. That kept it going for another year or so. All good memories!!
Your family misses you more than anyone can imagine and we will never ever forget you and your overflowing bubbly energy and enthusiasm for life. You also probably helped to drop a whole bunch of snow over the past week or so and even though the sun is shining brightly, it is still a white Christmas on the ground.
Going through the box of photos and I found this one of you with a purple santa hat. Purple is definitely the colour!!
Love you with all my heart,