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Amanda Todd Legacy – Staying Strong
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Carol Todd's Snowflakes 
know it’s been a long time since the tragedy but I just wanted to say that your daughter’s story is beautiful even through the sadness and pain…partially because she had (and has) as supportive, wise and caring mother as yourself. I’ve never had pictures circulated of myself over the internet, but I have been gossiped about over social media, where nasty sexual rumors nearly cost me all of my friends, my bonds with family and my ability to smile
And even though I’m at a new school with better friends, that doesn’t dull the pain of memory. And as a teenage girl, reading the stories of those who suffered cyberbullying is really scar, because this is my generation and this is what’s happening, or could happen, to other kids I know. My heart goes out to you and I hope Amanda and your’s story continues to make an impact, and possibly even help prevent some of these things from recurring, as it is quite an eye-opener. Perhaps people will think before they act…think about how they could drive someone to suicide by their actions. and maybe that conscience will save a life.
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Things will never change in my life, but I changed myself from becoming what I think is what a monster is like. It all started when I was 2 years old my mom loved me she told me that but actions didn’t follow with her words. One day I ran outside to play there there was a car with a lady quite slim and tall. She asked were my mom was she was right there behind me with a suit case and as my mom walked outside the doors with my aunt. With no surprise the slim lady who I had no idea who she was picked me and told me to say good bye. I kicked and I screamed and asked her “where are you taking me. “She said somewhere you can be loved by someone you can call mom and dad. I looked at her with confusion and I said that “this is my mommy and she loves me.” She placed me in the car and handed my mom a piece of paper of which with no hesitation she signed. I still remember the look on her face when I drove away. I never know the real reason why she never asked me to stay. I was put up for adoption bounced around a few times lived with different people and refused to call them my mom and dad. They didn’t quite like that. They put me back into the ward a few months went by my aunt stepped in she said she didn’t want me bouncing around I was a Schwab and that’s where I belong with my family, she never asked me to call her mom nor did my uncle ask me to call him dad. They were my family that I never wanted to let go, I thought because I was so close to my mom they would open up the door but no she would call and bang on the door and they would act like nobody was home. If I so much made any noise I would have gotten slapped or beaten. A couple years went by same things would happen my mom was still my mom and I wanted to live with her, one day I so much cried and asked my aunt to go see my mom because she was only upstairs I started to yell and put up a fuss and only then was I left with a black eye. It was hard explaining to people what happened because the next morning I couldn’t even remember, I even asked my aunt what happened she told me I was sleep walking and walked straight into the door knob. The next day at school the lady who picked me up that same day which I know who she was then was my social worker. She asked me what happened I didn’t know I could barley remember I told her my aunt said I was sleep walking. She didn’t believe it for a minute. I was scared of what would happened if I actually knew the truth and told her the freight of being removed from my family it would hurt me dearly. A few years went by and it was most a blur just more fights and bruises and scars that I still couldn’t explain today. I was now 9-10 years old my mom wanted her daughter back in her arms. I pleaded for my aunt n uncle to let me go. They wouldn’t. I caused scenes and told people everything when they hurt me or called me names. Enough was enough for them my mom lived in abbotsford with My sister and they gave me back to my mom but that lasted on 6 months she gave me back on Christmas Day that same year all I asked was for attention. She never hit me except for once and that was the same day I thought I had to say goodbye. I went back to my aunts fast forward to when My sister was in foster care my mom saved her from there in three months, I was done with the yelling and being controlled and hit and being told I cant see mom I told my social worker to remove me so she did. I’ve been in care now for 4-5 years and I pleaded for the day I wake up in my warm bed and the sound of my mothers voice. My father is a lost cause he walked in my life and stole from me and never came back. He’s a crack head on Hastings that didn’t surprise me from the stories I’ve heard about him. As you can tell I care about people a lot and never let them go because I know what’s like to be thrown away like you’re nothing and still don’t know where you belong. Along with being bullied for the past three years by people calling you a freak or the ugly duckling that went wrong because you parents didn’t want you. One girl had the nerve to say to me one day after a little fight ” atleast my parents want me, atleast I have a mom and dad to go home to” those words still float through my head. I had to deal with my ex ruining my life every relationship after him and him trying to get me to end my life last year. I changed my number and two foster homes because of him. He handed my number out like it was candy for people to text me that I was ugly I was worthless. To kill my self. So in 2012 I tried I took sleeping pills and my anti depressants which I am no longer allowed to use because I over dosed. Sometimes I look back and ask my self why did whoever was watching over me save me.. I’ve grown up a lot since then and not let my ex get to me but there’s days I want to break down but I stay strong not for myself but for my grandfather who has been gone since 2012 who told me to keep my head up and shine bright like the little treasure I was to him. He was one person who never had given up on me and loved me.
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I’m so sorry for everything that you’ve been though. There is *nothing* that you did to deserve any of that treatment.. Your grandfather was right.. You’re a treasure, keep your head up x if you need to talk to someone, I’m here x
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Taylor – I am sorry for what you also had to go through in your life so far. I can only hope that you are doing better and that Staying Strong is one of the important phrases in your life. You can always message here if you want to vent about anything.
~~ Carol
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Amanda’s story has touched my life forever. I too have been cyberbullied and blackmailed before to it was so hard on me and i have attempted suicide many times in the last 3 years and it just wont stop…. what do I do?
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Please tell your parents or go to the police, someone you trust, anyone who might be able to help you, don’t stop telling people until someone listens xx
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