July 9 – Almost 9 months since October 10th

What words can ever make the title of this blog post OK?  I don’t think there are any.  All I know is that it’s been a tough night.  In Amanda’s laptop, I found some more different pics.  Her You Tube video in colour.  About 12 videos of her singing which were from the weeks prior to October 10th.  Some videos of her in happy times with friends.  Just listening to her voice and laughter made me so very sad.

What else I found were the screen captures that were sent around on Facebook back in August.  They were posted by teens in Maple Ridge that must have hated her so much to continue to make her life miserable.  I mean really.

To those teens who ganged up and assaulted my daughter — You laughed about the whole thing after the fact and even after her death.  You posted comments on Facebook with pictures of bleach and ditches and words that my daughter should die.  You continue to post 6 months after the incident with no remorse or guilt.  But … I know you laughed about it then too.  Our communities are too small to not find out.  And those screen captures of what was posted in August of 2012 on a teen girls Facebook wall about Amanda.  They have all been screen captured with names attached.  Each one of them.  For those that wrote the words, I have to wonder what your parents would think.  What your own children would think about their own parents writing and thinking what you did.  Is it something that you think about ever?  Is it something you would want your own children to ever do?

Remember, what goes on the internet, stays on the internet like a digital concrete footprint.  In schools today, we warn kids about not posting things as their future employers will see things.  Universities and colleges screen their applicants for what they have posted on social media.

I hope that each and every one of those young persons thinks about their actions. I guess it would be nice if they could step forward to apologize for their actions.  But that would mean that they would accept responsibility for their actions.  That would take a person who has gained maturity and insight into what is right and what is wrong.

I don’t have my daughter anymore.  She has no future in the real world.  The only one now is her legacy to teach others to be more KIND to each other.  Just like what she would have wanted.

On July 10th, LIGHT A CANDLE and perform a RANDOM ACT OF KINDNESS.  Share your story on a site related to Amanda.

Amanda Todd Official

Amanda Todd Safe Haven

I think I spooked some people on Amanda’s Skype account tonight.  The account is still active on her computer on so when I turned on her laptop, Skype started working with her name.  There were alot of pings with WTF.  One brave soul actually asked the question ‘Who is using this account?’  I chatted with him  for a bit as Amanda’s mom.

And … Amanda’s bench is now at the pond.  I can’t go down there yet.  Still raw and emotional.  Rob went down and took a picture.  Wow … emotional.  I will get a photo eventually.

Hugz…

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About Carol Todd

Being the mother of Amanda Todd has lead me on this journey shortly after Amanda's death on October 10, 2012. Amanda's prolific You Tube video has been viewed over 33 million times. Through this video, there has been an increased awareness about cyberbullying, social media safety and mental health. www.amandatoddlegacy.org
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12 Responses to July 9 – Almost 9 months since October 10th

  1. Savetheworld says:

    I feel your pain in this blog and my heart aches for you. I cannot even fathom how difficult it must be for you. It’s unfortunate that Amanda had to be the catalyst for this world problem. 😦 I am a firm believer in Karma. Let the universe take care of these people. Their ugliness will never disappear they will have to live with themselves knowing what they’ve done. Wait until they have a child if their own that’s when the guilt will settle in. I pray they learn and try to become better humans. I send you strength I send you my love. I pray that the love we have for you and Amanda will get you through your rough days. Stay strong ! We love you and Amanda wouldn’t want it any other way ❤

    Like

  2. Will Burke says:

    Carol I know I haven’t written anything in here in awhile.But after reading this most powerful Blog.I just had to find it in my heart to leave you some kind words.The more i read the more I learn of how truly sad Amanda was. Did her harassers even stop to think?.No They did not.I really do pitty what they have done.Yes everyone makes mistakes but to keep doing it is just wrong.1 DAY they will open their hearts and eyes to the truth of what pain not only what they caused for Amanda,But for her loving family as well.I really do hope that when they have children of their own.They teach them that bullying and harassment is wrong.Also if they have any dignity left they will talk to their children when and if they ever do have any.Just what they have done.And what the results were do to their actions.BTW The Bench is absolutely beautiful.

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  3. Tristan says:

    Very strong Blog,,and ever so sad to read. You truly wrote with emotion on this one. Those little treasures you find on her computer with her singing and laughing,, look at those as gifts from her. You may find them not so easy to watch right now ,, or ever will find them ‘easy’ to watch,, but they are extremely precious, and ever so priceless!! You will want to sit down and look through it all one day. Might be an idea to copy her videos, photos ect , onto another computer and maybe save them on disks for extra safe keeping 🙂 – just a thought!. To all the ones you speak of ,, ‘ the ones involved with her harassment’s,, just know , that what you put into the world you get back! What goes up, will surly make its way back down,, may happen sooner or later,, may take its time,, but it will happen. I wouldn’t wish anything that has ever happened to Amanda to ever happen to anyone else,, but im sure those harassers will have it coming to them in one way or another, whether its to themselves or to their children, they will know , they have done wrong,, everything comes full circle. Your daughter Amanda Todd has an amazing Legacy, and has made a true positive impact to the world. She opened many eye’s. She put something special into the world ,and is now known for it, and that is far more than what any of those harassers can and ever will do for the world.

    Like

    • merle48 says:

      You know what Tristan? Your last sentence is so true, and is a sad compliment to Carol. Yet, I can only hope these people learn from all this and become better human beings in the future.

      Like

  4. Andria Drica says:

    Quando vejo sua tristeza Carol ..algo dentro de mim me conforta ,é saber que Deus cuida de você e de Amanda e que um dia vocês duas estaram juntas em um mundo longe de maldades ..acalma teu coração Deus nunca te abandonara !!

    Soneto de Fidelidade

    De tudo ao meu amor serei atento
    Antes, e com tal zelo, e sempre, e tanto
    Que mesmo em face do maior encanto
    Dele se encante mais meu pensamento.

    Quero vivê-lo em cada vão momento
    E em seu louvor hei de espalhar meu canto
    E rir meu riso e derramar meu pranto
    Ao seu pesar ou seu contentamento

    E assim, quando mais tarde me procure
    Quem sabe a morte, angústia de quem vive
    Quem sabe a solidão, fim de quem ama

    Eu possa me dizer do amor (que tive):
    Que não seja imortal, posto que é chama
    Mas que seja infinito enquanto dure.
    Vinícius de Moraes

    Like

    • la Punisher says:

      Translation for Andria:
      When I see your sadness Carol .. something inside me comforts me is knowing that God cares for you and Amanda and that one day you two estaram together in a world away from evil .. calms your heart God has never abandoned you!

      Sonnet Loyalty

      All my love I’ll be attentive
      Before, and with such zeal, and always, and both
      That even in the face of the greatest charm
      It is more delight my mind.

      I want to live it in every moment will
      And in its honor I spread my song
      And laugh my laughter and shed my tears
      When your grief or your contentment

      And so when I later look
      Who knows what death, anxiety of the living
      Who knows what loneliness, end of the loving

      I can tell the love (I had):
      That is not immortal, since it is called
      But let it be infinite while it lasts.
      Vinicius de Moraes

      Like

  5. Hamsi says:

    Carol, we are all there with you in spirit……the injustice of what happened to this young girl haunts me even now. We will all continue to fight the good fight.

    Like

  6. velvet says:

    Carol, will any more videos of Amanda singing ever be able to be uploaded/seen on Youtube, I know there are two already and only snippets on the elise estrada vid, it’s nice to see her normal and doing something that made her happy. Did u or Amanda ever watch the film Easy A, I guess it relates to the slut shaming and people jumping on the bandwagon.

    Like

  7. jag72 says:

    If I had skype yours daughter
    I would have responded with all the hatred that has invaded my heart.
    They give nightmares to no longer sleep at night.

    Like

  8. la Punisher says:

    Keeping her legacy alive and fighting the good fight is the right thing to do…R.I.P Babygirl

    Hugz 2U Carol… ‘Stay Strong’

    Like

  9. merle48 says:

    So now you are releasing some pent up feelings, and they are so random when they appear. It’s strange how all of us can appear “level-headed” for the most part, then suddenly it all changes to displeasure, maybe even outrage. I know it must be so very difficult for you to view Amanda’s FB and other accounts….I try to put myself in your place…how could I ever? But then the strength is somehow mustered from within, because the need to view, and hear her voice, the words she wrote…overrides any pain you feel at that moment. The curiosity is probably too strong to fight…and you try to fathom WHY fellow human beings behave in such an atrocious, slandering way. I suppose we humans have always had the capacity to destroy others through words, only now it comes with a stroke of the keyboard, a click of a camera, webcam, Iphone, etc. I always ask myself why is being morally straight, kind and compassionate SO unpopular? There is a song by Elvis Costello from years back called “What’s So Funny About Peace, Love and Understanding?” Someone out there please answer that for me! Oh…that’s what I thought.

    Like

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